Hello Cage friends,
So you know how you hear all the time about how there can be a form of energy feedback loop that those who explore d/s interactions can experience?
I have heard from more experienced friends who have mentioned time and time again the energy loop, and how it can bring a lot of positivity and when you interact with the right person it can create this unimaginable amount of energy between two people by constantly recurring and feeding into each other.
I understood the concept and I could rationalize it within my brain but here's the thing about me. Until I feel it, touch it, experience it myself they are simply words. It's a concept that I had no problem understanding and yet at the same time I lacked a great amount of understanding because I had never experienced anything like it.
Well no more!!!
I find it very interesting because all throughout this lifestyle this cyclical energy can manifest itself in many different ways. It's easy to hear and to grasp the concept but when you manage to experience it for yourself it's another beast completely.
Although we typically think that these experiences are most felt through physical interaction and I have one friend who loves to get into impact play. I remember hearing her crazy stories as she went from fire flogging to other implements and would speak on finding the right bottom who just gives you what you are looking for and what you need. I would listen to her stories and nod my head and go "Uh huh, sure makes sense" but I really didn't understand what she was talking about.
The thing is I had an experience in which light suddenly dawned on my brain and it seemed like I finally managed to experience an aspect of this cyclical energy that recurs when interacting within a d/s type interaction.
But I was having a shower and contemplating this idea and as it seems most of my revelations occur while in the midst of showering. But I realized I had experienced it in small ways and never even truly recognized them before.
It wasn't until I had this thunderstruck, lightning course through my body type revelation that I began to notice it within smaller aspects.
Think on this for one moment.
Your s type is nervous, they feel anxious and realize that there is this vulnerability they are feeling compelled to express and all of a sudden by doing the good things you have managed time and time again to prove consistently how you hold space they reach a level of trust in which they finally feel comfortable and safe to be able to express this vulnerability. They open up. They gift you a piece of themselves, a priceless piece of information a select few or perhaps absolutely no one knows about them. Trust is formed and by giving them the proper place to entrust this information to you, you are doing the good work of building that safe space for them. In turn, by receiving this valuable piece of information that no other human soul has you gain a unique perspective into who, what and how this person works. Beyond what anyone else can understand because you hold a piece of them that no one else does. Well I can only speak for my experience, but being gifted that piece of information fills me with pride, with joy, with a resurgence of strength because I have put effort into creating a space that feels comfortable to share within. It builds and in turn that trust given when handled appropriately builds more trust. Because you took this very sensitive, vulnerable piece of them and delicately grasped onto it, held it tight and treasured and protected it as if it were the entirety of your s type. This moment is very much building cyclical energy between the two of you. It allows your s type to feel confident, gain a sense of "Wow, you managed this part of me that I couldn't bare to share with anyone else." In turn (at least in my case) it allows me more confidence in knowing they have placed all their trust within me, they have confidence within my ability and I can grow and share deeper more intimate moments of mine which again fosters this level of trust and deepens the connection. It continues forward, building off and it almost becomes a game of "Well you trusted me with this much, so here's the next piece." It allows to continue moving forward for both of you so long as you appropriately handle that piece of information.
Of course you can also be led into ruin. Because you were gifted this vulnerable raw piece of your s type if you miss manage this important piece of them you can cause irreparable harm. You have just as much opportunity to grow as to destroy and it all comes down to how you handle the situation.
My question to you is this, will you actively grow your relationship or will you actively dismantle it?
The thing we all need to remember as d types is that a submissive never fails. She will go and do all she can but what happens if you don't clearly direct her into your will? What happens when she misses the mark of what your vision is? She is working at trying her best and yet she is only as good as your direction. If you don't properly direct her in the way you need her to grow, the way you need her to express herself it's not her failing. It's yours.
She has an idea of what she thinks you want or need. She tries her damndest to give you what you need but communication becomes paramount. She will never be able to trust you if you don't step up and say gently, or perhaps forcefully depending on the situation and the degree to which correction is required that "I didn't intend or want that part of the interaction" my actual vision was more this *points over the opposite direction*. If you don't clearly express yourself and what your need and intention is, she will constantly fail because you weren't able to communicate appropriately to her. That being said not all s types are going to understand you, and you need to be very cautious about who you allow into your domain. Because if the s type isn't correct for you, no matter what there will be failing and you will never get it right. There will be constant disappointment, constant sense of failure and inadequacy and not because anyone failed but because ultimately you are just wrong for each other. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you try to force the issue and try desperately to continue to forge ahead and then real painful harm can ruin all the time you have put in towards each other. You will both end up hurting and feeling lost and less than.
But when you find the right type of submissive, and know yourself, and know what you need and find that person who is capable of seeing and matches you in all aspects and aligns with where you wish and need to go you will find every opportunity to create this cyclical energy and build from each conversation. From each request, from each single moment a bond of deeper trust, of further growth, of happier days, more joyful moments. Even in the hard times. Even when the world is imploding and everything is wrong. Even through the most traumatic of moments and you still show you are a capable of managing through those storms. You begin to build immense trust, immense depth, and immense love.
Its how you approach each situation and will you take the time to grow this dynamic or destroy it? The power is in your hands and you need to weigh your choices carefully. Be cautious and yet when you see the path to move forward do not hesitate to press the advantage and help further each moment.
All we have is time and we do not want to waste ours, or those who serve us. Take use of every moment to garner trust, to help move the dynamic with intention and will towards your vision. Just make sure the person you are with agrees with the vision and purpose. Whatever that may be.
I hope you are well today, and thank you for taking the time to observe my words.