Good afternoon Cage friends,
It has been an insane month. I am first immensely grateful for the time, energy, devotion and love I have received this past month. There has been so much that has occurred that it truly is difficult to try and find a way to put it all into words.
Mikayla and I have had a remarkably successful month though. W/we have journeyed into life and both found it very fulfilling with joyful days, fun, work, tasks, events, time spent creating friendships with those around U/us and some miscommunication and hiccups. But no part of any decisions made has been regretted. No part would be done any other way because it was perfect and just right for U/us.
Many aspects of this trip was to find what real 24/7 life would be for U/us. I set Mikayla tasks that I wanted and needed done, I gave her deadlines for certain projects (especially before the BBQ planned for my family) and many little things that became a part of daily life for U/us.
The first thing to state is that I have eaten like an absolute King this past month. The fact that I have gained 10+ pounds is testament to that fact. The interesting thing is that for the first time in her life I was able to rekindle her passion for creating food. There was a conversation held about how she felt the culinary degree she had earned years ago had been wasted and not properly utilized until now. Past relationships that she had been in actually caused harm over food and meals. Many times over she felt restricted in the kitchen (and not in the fun way) Part of my joy is derived from bringing healing and affecting change. Seeing her passion be rekindled for baking, for creating, for trying flavours and experimentation was such a blessing. Being the source of excitement and thrill because I brought home an ingredient that inspired a concept for a meal was fun to bear witness. I love being an inspiration, just as I know she loves to inspire in me.
I had a critical realization during O/our month together. My childhood was excellent by most standards, but one area that was lacking was physical closeness. My father rarely ever hugged me and while my mom did give decent hugs I had a moment of clarity where my need for physical closeness had been lacking since childhood. It was just a moment where W/we were spending time together, my slave on the couch and I was just finishing some stretching. I went to kiss my slave and as W/we connected there was a deep seated understanding on a cellular level that my hug meter was depleted. That I had been missing "closeness" for a long time and I just needed to use my slave to refill my intimacy meter. It was about receiving service in a simple and innocent way, but she served as my teddy bear giving me much needed intimacy and closeness. To cuddle and almost melt into each other in the most comfortable way, it was rejuvenating. It was uplifting. It was what my soul needed to thrive and she knew her place was to serve. So she hugged me deeply and together W/we just embraced each other.
W/we also had O/our fair share of mishaps and true life experiences. One day as I was enjoying a bit of free time playing some video games, Mikayla came into the room and told me "W/we had a problem." So I stopped my game and went to check what she was talking about. It turns out there was a clog in the kitchen sink. Water was backing up and wouldn't flow. So W/we got down and dirty trying to remove the issue trying different drain cleaner, snakes, plungers. Eventually I disconnected all of the traps under the sink and found part of the issue. The level of grossness that came out from under that sink was despicable. It was vile and stomach churning. But after all things got cleared and cleaned Mikayla found the true culprit of what had started the clog. It was 2 plastic straws crossed in an X holding all manner of sludge that created a perfect plug. Now part of O/our communication is that W/we frequently hold discussions about what happened, what went right or wrong about a situation and how could it be better. So W/we discussed what had happened, and understanding the cause of the issue realizing sometimes things just go wrong. Its not anyone's fault but W/we simply put O/our best effort forth to solve the issue. Now I had initially placed blame on Mikayla, I thought she had put "too much down the drain". Pointing the finger and saying you did wrong though wasnt helpful and in this case it wasnt even the truth. I had to acknowledge that my blame upon her was ill founded and that it was not her or anyone's fault. While it was not her fault I still imparted a correction going forward in how she could best serve me by trying to minimize any solids being disposed of down the drain.
All of these events, moments of growth, understanding, learning, communication are the building blocks of creating O/our D/s life. Understanding myself, understanding what is important to me in everyday life and communicating those things is very important to creating her guidelines so that she knows where to walk. By creating the tension of my touch, by knowing the weight of my way, the manner in which I approach problem solving, the way I seek interaction, the tasks I set for her, how I speak, move, and where my joy is created builds my dominance and creates for her the guide to follow. I show her my way, she observes and reacts implementing what she sees and I correct guiding her more closely to my ideal. Its a balance. Its a push and pull. It takes understanding and careful observation, then communication and execution. Then start the cycle again and continue to grow together, working collectively towards the milestones, goals and path I set.
It has been a tremendous month and W/we have a lifetime to continue on O/our path but it won't make the next few days any easier. But I hope to speak to her soul and give her stable footing that she can rely on and turn to such that the move from home doesnt hit as hard.
To those that take the time to read my words today I thank you, hopefully you find something worthwhile in witnessing a small portion of who W/we are.
Mstr J