Good afternoon Cage friends,
Its been a little while since I have written here. Life has been full and busy. There are so many wonderful moments and events that have opened my path within the last 48 hours. Progress is being made in leaps and bounds.
It's been really interesting to look back on my walk and realize how far it is that I have come. How far I have reached in a relatively short time, but it takes reflection and a pause looking back to recognize that where I am now is radically different than 2 months ago, 6 months ago, a year, two years ago.
It seems in this day and age people are looking for the easy path forward. The quickest way to earn money. The best life with no effort put forth. The easiest walk. While that can be renewing for a time there is something about pain and adversity that forges who you are. Walking the easy path can seem joyful yet there is no growth on that path. It is through adversity and continuing to take a tiny step each day that you walk out of that darkness and into strength and courage. Giving up is easy. Staying stuck is easy. Complaining and lamenting your position is easy. But walking, continuing to walk, showing resilience by not giving up is very difficult.
I have been searching to understand pain and what it means to me and how I wish to use that within my dynamic. I have not yet reached a full conclusion but I know I want it to have meaning and intention with a purpose of reshaping and creating healing. Take for instance Mikayla's adventures in oral hygiene. She went to get braces and the first few days were a bit agonizing. It was pulling and reshaping her physical structure. But as time wore on she became adjusted and the pain lessened. She became used to it. Now within a week there will be a visit to take the next step, readjust her braces and tighten them so that she must begin her walk through pain in order to achieve my vision for her form and well being. It will push her into the next stage of alignment and that is where growth, healing and eventually relief will be found.
I was having a conversation with a coworker earlier this morning and expressing how I no longer identify with the old version of who I am. In many areas of my walk I was faced with stress and burden. As I have walked through it I no longer comprehend the fear, anxiety and worry that I faced when looking down the barrel of my ordeals. I am free and working my way forward into new and exciting areas of my life. Planning a future in so many different ways, working at achieving excellence in the hobbies I enjoy, mastering my self and working at becoming a better version of who I am 1% each day.
I really like the analogy of brushing my teeth. In 6 months I could choose 1 day to brush my teeth for 6 hours. But that wouldn't do me very much good. Or I could choose to brush my teeth just 2 minutes everyday for those 6 months and while I would eventually reach those 6 hours it would be much more complete and healthy to work at it little by little each day. We expect to just immediately easily have transformation that radically shifts life but that just isnt the case. It takes dedicated effort each day to take 1 step, 1 inch, 1 push forward. Choosing to say I will select my mental health and work at finding peace, finding harmony, finding serenity. Then do something that fills that space and creates that in your life. But you have to apply it to what your struggle and life experience is.
For me it was waking up with enough time to have a shower, take care of some self grooming and watering my plants and herb garden before I left for work. But I ran out of time. I still have dishes and laundry and so much more I need to accomplish. But I managed just what I could in the time I had before work and I feel so good about the effort I managed because I took good care of my self and property to the best of my ability.
If you don't take a step you will forever be stuck in the darkness. It takes movement, slow and steady to walk through that space. It doesn't happen all at once. Many times you may feel like you are failing, not doing enough, not finding answers. Like the world is crashing down around and on top of you, like you are suffocating. Just keep moving, keep walking, keep trying. Identify where your needs lie, and make 1 small effort to address that need. Then do it again and again and again and again. You get to choose what action you take, and how you want to live. You get to make your choices for your life. No one else understands the impact and effect of the struggle you are walking and while it can help to have support you alone hold the power to make change in your life.
I am still searching and finding my own answers as to how I want to utilize pain within my dynamic but it can be an excellent teacher. It can create the most growth, and it can flourish into something wonderful and healing if approached in the right way.
To those that read my words today I thank you for your time. I hope my words help those struggling on their walk and that you find growth and a renewed sense of purpose in walking through your pain.
Mstr J