I read something once in a blog somewhere on a chatroom that doesn't or does exist. The blog or the post, I don't remember exactly what it was or if it is even real, pointed out that sometimes you might say something funny but what you said was actuallly hurtful to someone. That what may seem like a joke to one person, may feel like an attack to another.
This is a common theme comedians and frat boys run into all the time. The thought process in both groups of people is basically the same: "I have something funny to say. I KNOW that some or a lot of people are not going to find it funny and some are going to be hurt by it. I'm going to say it anyway."
For me, I've made the personal choice not to engage in humor if it means someone might take it the wrong way. I sacrifice my ego for the greater good. Like Jesus, I guess. Here's an example of why self-restraint in humor is so important: As I was writing this I imagined a poster of a Tabby Cat sitting at the foot of the cross, looking up at crucified Jesus, with a banner that read "HANG IN THERE!" across the top.
Funny, right? I know! But I also know that someone who locks their child in a closet and makes them pray for a full day when they catch them masturbating, might be offended by the comment.
So I refrain.
But not everyone is as P.C. as Mister A. I get that.
I've heard disgusting jokes that other people, besides me, thought were funny. And even though I laughed at most of them (all of them), I was genuinely offended by a few.
But...
I was offended for a few seconds. Then I forgot about it. Not just because meth has ruined my short term memory, but aslo because a hurtful joke shouldn't really hurt that much. If something hurts me so bad that I feel personally violaated, I realize I just have to deal with it. It's my responsibility, not the jokesters. Sometimes dealing with it might mean trying to hurt the person with nastier words. Sometimes it might mean I shrug it off. And sometimes it might mean that I leave cabfare on the nightstand. Call me!
I guess what I'm saying is, it's my responsibility and choice to decide if I give such power to a person making a rude joke. Do I hold on to my hurt and grudge the way a Scottsman holds on to three pennies? Or do I simply pay less attention to it than a lesbian pays attention to fashion?
I can't stop you from making a joke. I can only choose how I react to it.
And before you get all bent out of shape about any of the comments I made here, you should know that one of my best friends is black.
I know there will be a gaggle of littles, a pack of alphas, a swath of switches, and a butt load of snubbed subs who will object to this.
"It's not all about Sex, Mr. A. It's about security and cuddles and crayons and glitter and LOVE!" the littles will whine.
To which Mr. A. says, "Listen up, Kitty [you're all named Kittysomething for some reason]. You may look cute as a button in your unicorn PJs for your Daddy or Mommy, but at the end of the day, if we don't nut, it's off to boarding school for you."
"A real Dom would know better," the Alphas will lecture. "Submission is a gift that we take very seriously. It is something a Dom earns, not something to be taken for granted."
To which I say, "Relax, Dom Diddy Daddy. Loosen that tie and unclench the sphincter for a minute. Trust is nice, but if you find yourself watching Bravo on the big screen in the dungeon these days, you can bet that your going to be on the wrong end of the sub unattraction equation.
Anyway, I'm running out of steam this morning. Can somone finish this blog for me?
I watched a leaf fall past my balcony and thought,
'This moment is unique to me. No one else in the entire world will have experienced this moment. It is mine.'
It's five to nine now. I look out my balcony and think,
'Moments may be unique to me, but in five more minutes I won't remember what the fuck I was thinking and never remember that I enjoyed something that no one else ever saw.
And the serpent said unto the woman: 'Ye shall not surely die; for God knows that in the day you eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and you shall be as God, knowing good and evil.' - Genesis, 2:4-5
In the beginning, Eve was pure innocence. Naked, she walked among the creatures in the Garden. Her hair then was of a color no longer seen and for which there is no word. It held a promise of light that both framed and caressed her open face. The mouth of Eve was full and her lips glistened at all times. By day, her skin was soft bronze; by night, pale amber. Everything about her was untouched and pleasing to the eye.
All this, Serpent noticed.
Of all the creatures in the Garden, none were as clever as Serpent, for he had gorged on the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But just as Serpent had devoured the fruit, lust had devoured his heart and bent all his thoughts toward the woman; for the fruit forbidden to First Man is the taste of desire. Nothing more, nothing less. That is enough. That is everything.
Since Seventh Day, Serpent remained hidden in the garden, preferring to spy upon Eve as she walked amongst the trees. He watched the woman incessantly. She was perfect, a creature who somehow shone in a world already lush with perfection. Everything about her was inviting. Her very scent called out to Serpent, drawing him to her like gravity. He ached for her. Each time his gaze fell upon her, Serpent felt the coil of tension and need tighten and heat in his belly.
A child in a body created for so much more.
One night Serpent spied on Eve as she lay with Man in the small clearing. From the shadows of the garden, he watched as they touched each other with mouth and hand, each taking their pleasure in their innocent explorations. Eve whispered and sighed at Man’s touch, his strong hands lingering, but never resting. Serpent drew closer, desperate to hear each small sound that escaped from Eve’s parted lips like steam. He watched as her hands discovered Man under the cold starlight. Serpent watched Eve shake as her long, slender legs parted for the Man’s hand.
Serpent stared at his own legs and he knew they were short and ugly. Envy bloomed in his heart and stoked the fires of desire. In all the Garden, only Serpent knew the twin pleasures of desire and envy, and on this night he gorged on both. When Eve whispered to Man, Serpent imagined she was whispering to him. He could feel her warm breath tickle his ear. When she held Adam, for that was Man’s secret name, Serpent knew, he imagined Eve holding his own thick member in her small hands. Serpent watched, growing engorged, and was consumed by a need to use Eve for purposes not even he understood.
The man’s mouth found Eve’s breast. She arched her small back and her hand moved to hold Adam’s head, but by then his mouth was travelling to other secret places. The two gave stronger voice to their pleasures, taking delight in each other and singing to the heavens.
All this, Serpent saw. By false dawn, Serpent’s desire had turned into something more, something darker. The urge to simply take what was his was overwhelming. Still, Serpent waited until he could wait no longer.
The next morning, Eve was bathing in the river Gihon when Serpent finally revealed himself. She was taking delight in the cool waters. Her skin glistened like wet diamonds in the morning light. Serpent hissed with longing. He watched Eve float on her back; legs splayed, her fingers lazily tracing small circles over her womanhood. She shivered at her own touch, then laughed with delight. Her circles became faster, more urgent. Her breath quickened, and she sang softly to the sky, her voice touching the Creator.
It was at that moment that Serpent stepped out of the shadows of the forest into the morning light, gliding silently over the soft grass. Eve did not notice him until he was standing on a large, flat rock at the edge of the river. The waters ran smooth and Serpent had a moment to see his full reflection. He was red, like the clay of the river banks. Longer than both Eve and Adam, but muscular. He saw Eve’s eyes lock on his cock as soon as she saw him. How could she not? It was stiff and pointing at her, longer, thicker than her Adam’s.
“Hello,” Eve said in a distracted, sing-song voice. She gave a slow kick, sending her body closer to the river bank. Her fingers did not slow. “I have not seen you before. Are you new?”
Serpent did not answer at first. His gaze fixed on the hand between her legs, and his cock twitched in the breeze, as if responding to an unseen touch. When he finally spoke, his voice was deep, like soft thunder.
"No. I am not new. I am old. I have served under God for longer than I remember.”
“Really?” Eve gasped. Her fingers made soft, splashing sounds, as she slowly worked herself up to getting close with God again. “That sounds wonderful.”
He smiled. “Oh yes. It is wonderful. Come, Eve. Walk with me.” His words were a whisper, but they carried like a breeze through the forest.
“Of course.” Eve sighed and her fingers ceased their holy work. She swam the short distance to the river's edge where Serpent stood, and he helped her out of the river. Water dripped off her breasts, and the Serpent’s tongue flicked out of it's own volition, and he suddenly felt parched. An image of his tongue gliding along one nipple, making her arch -
Serpent almost stumbled as the picture took hold of him with an almost physical force. He could have done that, and more. 'Soon. She will be ready soon', he thought.
“Where shall we walk,” Eve asked?
“This way." Serpent's hand touched the small of Eve's back and he guideded her to the woods and awary from the open grasses along the river. "There’s something I want to show you.”
She smiled and walked beside him. He remained upright, walking close to her. As they walked, Eve's hand would occasionally bump against Serpent’s, making him hiss softly. If Eve noticed, she said nothing.
They walked in silence for some time, past juniper and lilac, down secret paths where the air was thick with jasmine and other scents that had not yet been named, until they finally came upon the midst of the Garden. Here the soft air currents added the scents of sandalwood and honeysuckle, making the very act of breathing a pleasure. They had come to a clearing, but no sunlight fell here. Rather, the light of the First Day rested over every leaf and blade of grass, and Eve found to her delight that they too, were bathed in it.
Two great trees stood in the center of the small clearing. Serpent guided her to the first tree. The trunk was wide; it’s bark like birch, but whiter and smoother, like bone. Eve stood before the tree, and Serpent moved behind her. He stood close and his long cock pressed against her, nestled in the small of her back. “Do you know this tree?” Serpent whispered in her ear.
Eve giggled and Serpent felt her press herself lightly against him. “Your tongue tickles. This is the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”
“Very good,” the serpent’s hand reached around Eve and cupped her breast. He felt her nipple stiffen and shudder with pleasure. He reached up with his other hand past Eve's shoulder and pulled a fruit from the branch. "Have you partaken of this fruit? It’s truly wonderful.” He held the fruit just under her chin. It was warm to the touch, its skin soft and blue.
Serpent released her breast and softly brushed Eve’s nipple with the back of his hand and then his fingers began making the lightest circles around the base of her nipple. Eve inhaled sharply. He felt her legs spread just the tiniest bit and smiled. Even the mere scent of the strange fruit carried power.
“God has forbidden us from eating this fruit,” Eve whispered. She inhaled again and closed her eyes. “To eat it is death.”
Serpent watched Eve’s nipple’s harden and felt her unconsciously press back against him, her flesh clinging to his. His fingers stopped playing with her nipple, and Eve rewarded him with a soft moan of disappointment. Now she arched her back and pushed her chest forward, as if searching for his hand. The movement caused Eve’s face to press firmly against the fruit, and it’s skin rested lightly on her cheek, almost touching her lips.
He rewarded her by encircling her waist with his free arm and drawing her even tighter against him. Serpent crouched slightly to allow his hardness to slide betlegs.Eve's legs. An involuntary hiss of pleasure escaped his lips and for a time he became lost in the heat and slick friction of their flesh. He imagined he could see the soft swell of her ass softly moving in time with the throbbing in his loins. He began slowly moving against her. His long tongue played with her ear, his member sliding along the length of Eve’s lips, making her gasp every time the head of his cock bumped against her clit.
“No. You will not die," his lips promised. "I myself have tasted this fruit. In truth, I have gorged myself on nothing else since my name day.” He pushed himself against her, and his hand slid along Eve’s hips, encouraging her to bend forward. “Do I feel dead to you?" He bit Eve lightly on her the back of her neck, eliciting another moan of pleasure. "Now I am more like God than I ever was,” he whispered. It was both lie and truth.
His hand snaked up and again cupped her breast. The flesh felt both supple and pebbled against his fingertips. They both moaned. Serpent’s pressed the ripe fruit to Eve’s lips, and felt her shudder. With another moan, Even pushed herself against Serpent’s cock. Her entire body was caught in the twin desires of tasting the fruit and coaxing Serpent to enter her. “It feels soft and hot on my mouth,” she whispered. “But …”
Serpent gently pinched her nipple, coaxing another moan from Eve’s mouth. “You see?” His breath caressed her like steam, and he gently bit her ear. “You see? It did not kill you.” He gently pressed against Eve, and she half fell. Her arms grabbed the tree’s smooth trunk for support. Serpent’s cock continued pushing between her legs. The feel of the large member, rubbing against her lips was unlike anything Eve had ever known. She started to shake. "No," Eve whispered.
Serpent slowly dragged the soft fruit across her lips. “It tastes of light.” His cock continued rubbing against her wet opening. Eve whimpered.
“It tastes of salt.” He shifted, and the head of his cock finally slipped in between Eve’s hungry lips. Eve gasped, her fingers digging into the soft bark. Serpent slowly pushed himself all the way into Eve, until there was no light between them. Now it was his flesh that seemed to vibrate in sympathy with the hungry throb that pulled at him from inside Eve.
“Its flesh is firm,” he whispered. He slowly pulled his cock back until it was again only resting against her. He pressed the fruit against her mouth. “See how it feels on your lips, Eve? There is no death here.”
“No….” Was it denial or agreement? Serpent didn’t think even she knew, and he did not care. He kept still, so that only the head of his engorged member touched her wet opening. Eve's soft moans turned into whimpers Serpent anticipated every small move she made, and mirrored his actions so that his cock just barely rested against her lips. The pair swayed together at the hips. Eve teetered on the the precipe of escape and surrender, but when she tried either, Serpent followed, always too close and too far.
“Please," she whimpered.
He pressed the fruit more firmly to her mouth. Eve was bathed in heat, and wet - not just wet between her legs. She was wet everywhere. Her entire body responded to Serpent's touch and the lure of sin sliding over her mouth. Even her hair was slickened with sweat. Serpent’s tongue snaked into her ear. She opened her mouth to moan. To breathe. To taste. The fruit.
The tip of his cock push into her. “Oh, you feel so …” The fruit fell from Serpent's hand to the ground. He pressed Eve against the tree, pinning her against the smooth wood with the force of desire. He bit the nape of her neck and his cock slid all the way into the woman. Eve screamed. It was nothing like the sounds she made with Adam. There was no song in this scream. It was something else. She was becoming something else.
Serpent wound a hand through Eve’s long hair and took her in earnest. His cock buried to the hilt; he began grinding against her, until her screams turned ragged.
He felt her womanhood grip him like a wet, greedy mouth. Serpent hissed. They collapsed to the ground, Eve on her hands and knees. Serpent pushed himself between her knees, and Eve once again felt the fruit pressing against her mouth. Without thought, her mouth sunk into its flesh, even as he sunk into her.
‘Yesss,” he hissed, pushing the rest of his length into her. Eve screamed again.
He rested his full weight on Eve’s body. Then pulled out and slowly pushed himself all the way in again. Juice ran down Eve’s chin, thick and wet. It dripped from her tongue, staining small patches of ground blue.
“Wrong… yes,” Eve grunted with each thrust. She did not know what she was saying, or even that she was speaking.
Serpent’s cock slammed into Eve, forcing her to the ground, until, she was flat agasint the soft dirt. Each time Serpent thrust into her, Eve crawled a little on her belly, as if she were trying to escape the assault. “Wrong,” she gasped. “Please.” Serpent grabbed her hips. They were both covered in dust and sweat. Eve was beyond caring. Waves of pleasure pulled her apart, changed her. “Your…cock… Don’t stop.” Then she lost language for a while and simply grunted her desire each time the Serpent’s beautiful cock filled her. She came with each thrust. Her orgasms flowed into each other until there was just one long electric hum, that stated where the two were joined, and caused Eve's entire body to vibrate. Then the ground itself started shaking. Serpent stopped, his thick member still buried deep in Eve. She was still shaking. Still humming.
“Don’t. Stop.” She breathed.
Serpent covered her mouth with his hand. “I think the Lord is coming,” he whispered.
Eve bit down on the hand, and Serpent pulled it away with a sharp hiss. Her hand reached between her legs and touched him, urged him. “Let Him,” she gasped. “Let Him come.” He pulled at her hair and started thrusting into her again, and thoughts of God fled his mind. Serpent was not sure he could stop now if he wanted to. “Let Him.” Eve pushed herself against Serpent, grinding against him, another orgasm making her moan. “Let… Him … Watch.” Serpent roared.
I keep reading submissive profiles in hopes of finding someone who is looking for drama. But always I see "no drama please" or "no drama..of you're looking for drama, look elsewhere. "
It's a shame, really. I had a really good drama to.offer. It involved plenty of leather and cock, interspersed with long, dramatic pauses.
