I was so happy.
The restrictions had been lifted and the sun was shining and warm.
I had just dropped Eloise off at my sister's house where my mom was watching her.
I felt radiant. I was down 20 lbs, tan, nails done, new hair. The new blue floral dressed and cowboy boots just tiped me over the edge.
I was high on weed and good fortune.
The Warden and I walked hand in hand down th street to a perfect little patio table.
"I'll be right back. I'm going to get us drinks." The warden says kissing my forehead.
I grabbed my smokes and phone out of my purse. Take the classic "im a mom out on the town getting drunk photo" that has been going around.
I light up my cigarette and I'm scrolling through my selfies when " text message from Jarrod: Put the cigare....."
I freeze. No. Way. Mmmm. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
I lean back and take another drag. There is no way he is here. I think to myself.
I lean forward to flick my cigarette when his voice is in my ear, "I thought i told you to put this out?"
My heart is in my throat as I look to my left. It's him. It's really him. I soak him in. His scruff. That gap in his front teeth. Those steel colored eyes.
"Get up," he growls in my ear. My body moving before my mind is comprehending. Just like before.
Before I know it my hands are in his rough hands again. I'm thrown up against a car. His hands in my hair. His lips on my neck feel like fire against my skin.
This has to be what it feels like to relapse i think to myself.
Then I'm over come with anger. I hit him in the chest over and over again.
"HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME?!" I scream at him. How dare you?! I scream at him over and over again.
He grabs my wrists and puts them gently to my sides. "Hush, little one. Hush."
I fall to my knees sobbing. "I'm so sorry." I cry.
"Hush," he soothes.
I crawl into his lap, "please, please don't ever leave me again." I beg and sob.
He rocks me back and forth, hushing me. "I'm never going to leave you again." He finally whispers in my ear.
After I've calmed down, he pulls back up on my feet.
"Here," he says handing me some napkins.
I wipe my face and just stare at him. His big 6' frame. His big shoulders and arms.
I run to him. His arms wrap around me and I finally feel whole and safe again.
His lips on mine.
His hand starts going up my dress when it happened....
"Summer, what the fuck is going on?!"
I gasp.
The Warden.