Hi All-
Hope everyone is doing well ! This Kraken is heading to Europe & the UK in a few days for a month.
Hope to see some of you at events there...
I have been so busy with work-stuff that it has been hard to find the time to polish out the material I had already prepared a few weeks back, BUT! here you go...
It is a bit rushed and lacks my usual polish (sorry! = time constraints), but I wanted to give a hands-on feel of how Consent & Communication come into play -BEFORE- I try and explain HOW we actually go through the process. Don't worry, the next few lectures will go thru each of the steps of the process - and give you guys confidence (or at least some fun ideas, should you already be experienced) to make this topic sing in your dynamics or play.
This one simply shows it in action and why it leads to great things. I chose a very safe example, so that the newest people can see that not all bdsm dynamics are sexual at all; yet some are very sexual - this is an individual choice. Also, so that the same peeps can come to see that while a -dynamic- may be asymmetrical once consent is in place - setting up the same dynamic is something two people do -together- as equals.
Consent to play is a gift from the sub \ bottom, and the scene/play/aftercare is a gift from the dom \ top. No one ever has to do anything for anyone else; we are all equal as humans on this fine planet. However, we can -choose- so work in an unequal fashion, because we like it and because its hot. Consent is how we figure out what each other likes/needs/wants/hates - it those needs and dislikes apply equally to Dom as well as sub.
As some have pointed out, sometimes this is all natural and no discussion needs to be had in some situations--usually those involving long-term partners and experienced players. But most of us, including me, still need to and should go through all the steps. Besides, few things are as bonding or sexy - when it is done right.
Let's take our first look at HOW to get it right. And later, we will get into all the specifics so you, too, can walk this magical staircase with great poise: