I have made so many new discoveries since I started my journey to find myself just a few short months ago. My perception of the BDSM lifestyle has just started to bud, and when this flower blooms I plan on it being magnificent.
In one of my previous blogs titled, "question" I had mentioned that I wanted to find a Dom that hadnt ever had a sub before. I compared it to the equivalent of losing ones virginity in a sense. I would like to retract that statement. That would definitely be an understatement. The blind leading the blind never equals success, does it?
i couldn't have pictured myself being anything other than a sub until I was talking with a fellow kikster the other day. I was asking him how a Dom/Domme earns that title. I asked if there was any training or at least some kind of basic 101. I thin there should be an age limit to be able to call themselves anything specific. I have been seeing several, several 18-late 20's claiming to be a Dom. They think that just because they want to be in charge in the bedroom, that makes them Dominant. Or they think that a sub is equivalent to slave. For instance, two days ago, I told one of the gentlemen that write me about my need for a Dom. Well he acted as if he only knew about the pain side of BDSM. so I explained what I could. A little while later, he asked for me to show my tits and I declined. He stated, "I think you must be forgetting who you are talking to. Let me know when you get some manners." So then I politely replied, "You don't just 'get' to be my Sir. You have to earn my trust and respect first. If you are lucky enough to meet my expectations, I might choose you" Today, when I woke up I realized that I can't be trained by anyone other than an experienced professional Dom. Well folks, I have been given so much great advice from many members, and I'm going to start living my dream.
This morning I messaged a friend I had met on Kik. He was one of those people that was just as curious as I am concerning what I want to find. Now, this Dom has had his sub for 2 years. And from the moment I saw his eyes, I knew I wanted my Dom to have piercing and demanding sexy eyes just like his. As we chatted, I explained that I am on borrowed time so to say and he hit the nail on the head when he said, "So you are trying to squeeze every bit of life out of what you have left" I explained to him how difficult it is for me to explore my fantasies in a town as small as the one I live in. The options are not the best here. He then told me that he could help me and it will happen for me. I assumed he meant he had connections with someone who would be willing to train me or help me carry out my desires.
Then, my fantasy started coming true. It is like I'm inside of a book. He said it would be him that would be using me as meat, pushing my limits of pain, and helping me explore my needs. All we are waiting on is our STD results. I am beyond excited!!!