Wondering mind ....

So many times I have opened this and attempted to post my first blog..And for one reason or another I backed out usually cuz I couldn't figure out how to get all the bs from my head to my fingers... I will start by saying this I'm not the greatest speller I have fat fingers and a new phone so bare with me lol...
So I'm in a mood ATM I was upset by a blog another member posted which I no longer see. I was sad cuz I was cheering her on from a far looking up to her in ways and she never new.I felt like her and I had a lot in common. I was upset to see she had been hurt only to come across my own pain tonight.
I found my first real potential Dom. I was so excited it was like Christmas for me.we were vibing so well or at least he made it seem that way. We had real conversations laughs and it wasn't all about sex i really felt like this finally maybe the dom i get that special connection with that only comes from these dynamics.then lack of time and effort from him was getting to me .I get we have lives and it can get in the way but i work 2 jobs one day off a week, i have a son that his dad doesn't really help , i have a husband that expects a lot and doesn't appreciate me or what I do .i have step kids a house to run  clean 2 dogs. I work I come home to cook for the family and my job is never done which is fine ... But somehow amongst all the craziness I made time for u! I always said goodnight good morning I messaged less then u were on my mind cuz I didn't wanna scare u away cuz u were always on my mind.  so me being me I had to voice my opinion cuz it would have eaten away at me.so I did .of course I wonder now should I have just been greatful for what I did get and just work with it cuz now I have nothing and my hope and and mind are lost yet again. It was really nice to have someone to talk to and learn from and see how much we had in common.I didn't wanna do online but he had a way with me and made it feel like maybe this could work.....needless to say it isn't .at least not now. And for the first time in the longest time I shut my mouth. I knew I had so many emotions and had so much to say and not all of it was nice but I managed to be quiet and I'm proud cuz my mouth often gwts me in trouble and tbh I have no idea what the future may hold .
I will always remember the conversations and good times we had . It was a good start in this wonderful world. And I am still happy u were some part of it! These feelings will pass.