Our Story (Her)
Two decades. That’s how long I had been single. When my youngest son was born, I decided that I was going to focus on my children and my career, and for the most part, I was satisfied with that choice. I was used to being alone at ball games and school functions. I was used to sharing my bed with the pets and sometimes even one of the kids. As they got older, the times we spent together changed, but their presence was still evident. Then, in a blink of an eye, they were gone. New cities; new lives.
I was lonely and decided to get my feet wet, and because of my job, it was just easier to check out dating sites. I met some nice men and some not-so-nice men. I went through an interesting cat-fish experience; I met a man who asked me to be his concubine...
Through the concubine experience, I started looking into the BDSM lifestyle ( I had always been a little kinky; I had once asked my high school boyfriend to tie me up and spank me), and I found a site that seemed geared for my new obsession. There were blogs and podcasts, and most of all, it offered me a chance to explore all the different areas of the lifestyle. Like all newbies, I experienced the psychological sub-space that had nothing to do with a potential dom, and everything to do with letting myself feel again.
After a few months, I took a step back and began to focus on myself. What did I want? What did I need? It was during this time that I received a message from Azz. I had read some of his blogs and enjoyed his writing, but he was twenty-five. Who was I kidding? So, I politely responded that I was looking for someone with more life experience. Over the next few months, I kept reading his blogs. I loved the way he wrote. I had been talking with someone but it wasn’t going to go anywhere, and as we talked about what we wanted for the future, he asked me if the only reason I hadn’t wanted to take a chance on the kid from Virginia was the age difference. That made me stop and think. I had talked to a lot of men, and for whatever reason, it just never worked out.
I don’t believe in soul mates or love at first sight, but I do believe that there are those that we connect with and that when the timing is right, we can choose to hold on to that connection or let it pass us by. This is where ‘Our Story’ really begins.
It took me a week or so to work up the courage to reach out to Azz. I wasn’t really sure how he would react, after all, I had turned him down. All I knew was that I had to try. Something about him resonated with me. Have you ever had a feeling so strong, that you knew it wasn’t just a ‘want’ but was a ‘need’?
From that point on, everything seemed to move quickly. We met in person a week later and have been together ever since. It hasn’t been easy; we are polar opposites in some areas, but I am a better person for it. He has made me stronger. I think that is something that is difficult to grasp for some people; I eagerly and lovingly submitted to my dom, but that didn’t mean that I was weak. I didn't lose myself in my submission; In my submission, I finally felt free to be me. He was and is my safe space. He saw the real me and loved me in spite of all my flaws.
Our love story has just begun.
