Online now
Online now

Falling for an Idea

I look pretty.
I sound pretty.

I am "The perfect ideal".
I get told regularly I'm "perfect", "sexy", "amazing", "everything I've been looking for."

But... You don't know me.
("You" is general, not a specific person.)

You don't know about my tastes. My desires. My limits. What gets me going and what stirs my blood faster than a partner admitting to cheating.

I can figure you out from a couple of conversations if I try.

You never ask either. It's always about you.
You think if I know more about you, I'll be so blinded by and in love with your "domliness" that you can string me along.

But... I'll call you out.
I won't let you get away with wasting my time.
I won't let you push for my attention then never use it.

My entire thought process after this s**tshow of a year, having been failed by several people and having had to end engagements - Actions speak louder than words.

Am I tired? Immensely.
Am I jaded? Without question.
But... I've had enough.

I hate people who fall for the idea of me.

Because it's not me.
3 years ago. June 10, 2020 at 2:36 AM

I have no one to rant to but having said that, here it is:

 

(Rolly is not their real name and will not lead back to them at all. Johnny is also a made up name. To be absolutely clear. It's not even close to a nickname for either.)

 

Your profile states you like "timely polite and articulate responses" and that you grow "weary of people who cannot respond on time."

Well, you have a shit history with me Rolly.

When it comes to answering promptly yourself.

In fact, if I have to prod you to answer my messages - your communication skills are lacking.

I set up the messenger thing (I hate messenger with a passion) so you could verify I was a real person however, my FB profile is locked tighter than Fort Knox so all you could see is a "So when is the apocalypse?" Bird meme and probably some profile picture changes. 

I gave you a second chance because I'd thought I'd been too hard on you before, and maybe you had things going on. 

So, after you responded to my prompt to rely (12 hours after the initial message), you told me you had to do weekend shopping on a Monday then disappeared again. At 9PM, I sent a message which asked if I should bother continuing to try to engage with you since all signs pointed to your not being as nearly interested as you made out. I let that go for 12 hours - you were active on the other side during this time and I know messenger gives alerts so it's not like you missed it and working from home isn't an excuse - My housemate is able to chat and work at the same time. While on MT.

So, I blocked you and it's funny how immediately after I blocked you - you read the message and another profile contacted me. As in, the same minute. 

 

I don't play these games Rolly.

You might but I don't.

Apparently you do this a lot. Just like Johnny.


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