Collars X Marriage
A collar can represent many different things and there are serval different types. Play collars 24/7 collars those most times look like chokers, then there are collars that look like necklaces, bracelets and some even get tattoos. They can represent many different things, for me however; I love the bond, trust, love, and commitment wearing one represents. I love how the meaning of it is whatever meaning my Dom and I give it. Wearing one is often times equated to that of being married do I think it is the same thing mmmm nope. Collaring is something created in this lifestyle to show a bond and ownership. Marriage is bond and promise between two people made in front of God and sometimes a couple hundred other people or a judge either way similar meanings not the same thing.
With that being said, I love how they can bring different memories to mind. With a wedding ring, everyone knows what it means and represents. “Oh how long have you been married?” “Where did you get married?” “That’s such a nice ring” I would think about my wedding day and the days leading up to it, the planning, the dress the warm feeling walking towards my future husband and probably share some of those memories. A collar however is a different ball game one might say “that’s a pretty collar (they would probably say choker) or lovely neckless or bracelet” they may even ask where I got it from but the line of questions end there and the memories may flow. Remembering the night, I kneeled before my Dom to be collared, the trust that was built the love that was had and commitment that was promised. The scene that took place after the pain residing into pleasure the sub space the gentle aftercare. All causing me to smile while keeping those details to myself.
One thing I have seen a few people fall subject to is either accepting/offering one excessively quickly. I understand the want to belong to someone… ehh well I sort of understand it. However, to do it so quickly only to realize it was a mistake or too soon is counterproductive. I never really saw myself in a relationship but I have met someone I truly think I can do life with someone I want to do life with. I have never felt that way and I have to admit it’s a beautiful feeling. Aug 8th will mark 1 month of us talking, we have met, and both enjoyed each other’s company. I still however has no desire to move in two week ago wear his collar last week get married yesterday and have kids tomorrow.
In adamant objects only, hold the meaning you and your partner give to them. When I 19 I brought a ring it was a simple princess cut ring and I think it cost me 120 bucks. I was sick of telling men that I was single but not interested when they asked and instead of no being, no they saw it as a challenge. So I brought the ring put it on my ring finger and when people would ask I would smile and say I was married. They would usually leave it at that and leave me alone. I wore it until I was 21 or 22 then I went to Halloween horror nights ad I lost it. The point being that ring held no meaning it meant nothing. I did not look at it and get warm and fuzzy or walk down memory lane nothing.
The same would ring true with a collar I have seen friends get collared after a short period of talking to a Dom which makes me question the Dom as well. If a collar is symbol that represents marriage. Shouldn’t there a meaning behind said symbol no one would drop to one knee and ask someone to marry them after a short time of talking. Which begs the question why is it done so quickly? I think it’s to say “ look at me I have a Dom” or “look at me I have a sub” which defeats the whole purpose doing something to show it off is wrong who gives a shit about who you have and why does them giving a shit matter to people.
If a collar was offered and I didn’t think I was ready or my Dom and I weren’t were we needed to be to for me to be wearing his collar I would say I’m not ready yet and explain why. Same thing with an engagement ring. There is this weird taboo behind saying no to those thingy manly I hear “I was caught in the moment it was so romantic and sweet.” which is fine and cool but try I to live life making level headed decision if I cant. Once I come down from the bliss, I will have that conversation. Will it be hard probably I said yes he’s all happy now I have to be like well actually, but we would both be better for it.
Symbols can hold a lot of meaning and you never want a collar to hold tainted memories memories of strife or heartache life happens sometimes but I no longer make excess for adults those are for children. Adults make decision and all decisions have outcomes. Trust is a funny thing it really is. With me, trust is a hard thing to build like a house in the 1900s it takes time effort, patience’s, and will not happen overnight. However, once I fully trust someone there is nothing I would not do for them to protect them to make them happy nothing. However, as hard as it is to build it’s like a pop up house in 2020 it doesn’t take much to fracture or destroy. Once its gone its gone I do believe in second chances depending on what happen but life is not baseball my heart is not a game and I will never again give someone two chances to hurt me. You should not hurt people at all so you really should not hurt people you claim to love.
I look forward to the day I wear my Doms collar and Husbands ring but not so I can say “oo look at me I have a person” lol get a dog. I look forward to it because it means we took the time to build something magical something real. We were patience and got to know each other. we know each other’s likes and dislikes we steal the covers and act like children at the same time we have quiet dinners and just enjoy being. Sometimes we argue no relationship is perfect thinking that would be is silly. However, we also come to an agreement and we never aim to hurt each other. Both objects are a representation of what we built and the work we put in to get there, it is also a constant reminder to always work to make each other the best version of our self as individual and as a union. Without it, they mean nothing.
