Highway to hell

My journey in life and the good and bad that comes with it. But mostly music.

I hate to admit it..

3 years ago. January 11, 2021 at 4:44 PM

I truly do hate to admit that my sub is right. I have an issue with wanting to fix others. Every time my friends have an issue I want to be the first one to help fix it for them. But you can’t always fix people. Sometimes they don’t even want help. And I have to learn that. I have to remind myself to mind my own damn business and stop trying to fix everyone around me. It’s not my responsibility to fix them but their own. But despite this I can’t help it. It’s part of who I am as a person.. wanting to fix others and help them become the best version of themselves. This desire is normally very selfless but there’s times when it’s very selfish as I can get something out of it. So now I have to tell myself to butt out and let this person deal with their own problem. After all, I have my own issues as well that I normally push aside in order to help others... so I might need a hobby or maybe meditate so I can stop wanting to butt in.. because I very much want to! I have dealt with this person’s issues before and I really want to help but they don’t need my help or want it and it’s driving me insane since I really really want to butt in.
So calm thoughts, calm thoughts. It is NOT my responsibility to fix others and I should NOT help them unless they ask for help.
For any else having this same problem of helping others remember to repeat the mantra I just made “It’s NOT my responsibility to fix others”

MidlifeMan(dom male) - I hear you, we Dom's like to help people (normally subs, but not always) be the best version of themselves. It's hard not to when you can see the advantages, but as you clearly state, its there choice not ours. I will be borrowing the mantra, thank you.

3 years ago

MelMell(dom female) - That’s what happens to me. I see free advantages of the change and I want to help them through it and be their support but it isn’t always easy specially if they don’t want your help or even ask for it. Which I find truly frustrating since I want to fix it so damn bad.

3 years ago

MountaintopMaster - Haha, I'm such a "fixer" too. I could really use a fixer in my life too though, honestly!

I think that just like how there are fixers, there are those who do actually want to accept being fixed, or to be guided/managed/led. Not all subs want that, but some do. As a switch, i can kinda see both sides of it, and the benefit of finding the right dynamic, but also, of course, knowing when to butt out and find ways to just let people solve their own problems, while still doing small things to support them and guide them...

Anyways, thanks for the great blog read!

3 years ago

MelMell(dom female) - I very much am a fixer. I like fixing people and helping them and it fills me with great pride and joy when they grow because of my fixing. But not everyone appreciates being fixed and would rather do it themselves.

3 years ago

Johnny slave sub(sub male){I'd most w} - I've always looked up to women and came to recognize and appreciate the wisdom held by them. Yes..I fix myself in ways, but when stumped , I've looked usually to a woman for her advice. No, it isn't your responsibility to fix others, but if you like doing so...it's helpfully kind to offer. They may turn down your help and that's different. ..their loss. Yet, if they ask for help...it's not butting in then, but your own decision to help or not. 😊

3 years ago

MelMell(dom female) - I don’t always offer my help. And I haven’t offered my help to the person I want to guide. I’ve implied it but didn’t outright say it. Aside form the fact I’m only interested in helping him if he becomes my sub. I’m not interested in helping him as just friends. He is very much someone I “need” as a sub because of certain reasons that are not entirely “good”

3 years ago

Johnny slave sub(sub male){I'd most w} - Be forward. If you are in need for him to be your sub, even for reasons that aren't entirely good..let him know what you have in mind. Speaking truth, can often lead to someone accepting, that which you might not feel they'd accept.

3 years ago

MelMell(dom female) - I asked him how he felt about me and he said he needed more time to get to know me. We have been talking since September which is a good amount of time to get to know someone specially someone as open as me. I’ve felt for a while he isn’t ready for a relationship but he kept trying so I didn’t say anything. And honestly I’m not in the mood to keep hunting someone that doesn’t truly want to be hunted. Someone I will never be able to catch. I got tired of beating around the bush and becoming more attached to someone that isn’t fully interested in me. I found the things I liked about him while he didn’t find things he liked about me. So I’m not even going to keep fighting a lost cause. It was stressing me out far too much and my emotions were getting a bit hard to control.

3 years ago

Johnny slave sub(sub male){I'd most w} - I'd say MelMell. ..that's the best you can do. Yo cease fighting for someone who not fighting for you. If he is not feeling a sense of stress over a chance of losing you...no need to stress out ovef him. If he wakes up to what you've said to him, he'll be wanting to be hunted by you. 😀

3 years ago

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MelMell​(dom female)

Highway to hell

I hate to admit it..

MelMell(dom female)