Everyone at one point or another in their life has felt a lot of lust and frankly I’m not an exception to that. I’m an extremely lustful person and even more so when the other person is beautiful. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a very vain person and I will never deny it as I’m no hypocrite. Some might be wondering by now where I’m going with this so I’ll explain.
I had a sub a few months back that was very attractive physically. His personality is that of a golden retriever and frankly he reminds me of one too. Very dull personality if I say so with very little in the way of conversation. Those kind of people I’m tempted to hit it and quit it but he’s so damn pretty that I kept him around for a while. I ended up leaving him as he was always too busy with his vanilla life and didn’t want to make much time for his bdsm life and he stopped listening to me as his domme. I punished him for going against me in multiple ways but none stuck and at that point I simply tell him that he either wants to give me his submission or not and if he doesn’t want to then there’s no point in the dynamic. The dynamic ended and a few months after that he comes around wanting to belong to me. Now this is where the lust comes. He’s gorgeous. Gorgeous face, gorgeous body and even a beautiful dick(those are rare I swear). For a moment my vanity battled against my dominant side. My vanity wanted him as I do list for him while my dominant side will never take back a sub that doesn’t follow commands. I rejected him which sucks for my lustful side but it is what it is.
now there’s another gorgeous sub that looks very much like zayn malik and that man is beautiful. Very nice personality and actually had things to talk about but as he lives in Europe there’s a time difference and our previous interactions wouldn’t last long. I never had a dynamic with him and we were just talking. I might have pushed him away because of the time zone despite him always making an effort to talk to me and even staying up until really late. He’s come back again wanting a dynamic and while I very badly want him because he gets my lustful side going I have rejected him as anything other than a friend. The time difference is about 7 hours and I don’t like that. I like his personality, I like the sub he could be to me, I like staring at his gorgeous face and frankly I want to see him naked. He’s a tough decision for me and I might have ignore him for about a month trying to decide what to do. My decision was that my hormones don’t control me. There’s times I wish my hormones controlled me. He’s gorgeous and I just want to mess him up and selfishly keep him, growl at anyone trying to get close to him and cut his wings so he can’t fly away from me but I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want my selfishness keeping someone I know I won’t be able to make something work with.
So damn you lust. You are the bane of my existence and the only thing that truly makes me regret rejecting beautiful men. I just want to collect them... and they are very much aware of it. I don’t believe in lying about that after all.
Does anyone else have moments like this? Wanting to keep someone because you lust after them despite knowing things won’t work out? Do you ever feel like getting back with that very beautiful ex despite knowing things will end the same way?
