I’ve gotten a few questions about the origin of the stories on my blog, and whether they are true or not. The idea for the first of the stories started as a way to sort of explain my progression in the lifestyle. Each of the stories I’ve written and intend to right represent something, a piece of the overall puzzle that adds up to where I’m at. They might not seem overtly BDSM or D/s related, but there are aspects there. What you read on the blog are rough drafts, unfinished pieces that have not been edited or scrutinized. I sit and I write.
The writing is part practice, but also with an eye towards maybe bundling them all together in a short story collection. A collection that better shows my journey through the years. So, for the most part the stories are true. I would never call them a memoir though, there are aspects and names that get changed. I’d say roughly 80% of each story is accurate, most of the dialogue is altered simply because in those moment I recall more of what happened and not always how. There’s also the aspect of entertainment value. As I mentioned, these are throw-away stories, they are practice. I experiment with them and try to have fun. I think that comes through, and explains why some are rough and perhaps uneven. I know Daphne/sabrina is a bit uneven. It’s also lengthy and might have too many lulls or periods where there’s not enough action.
That particular story was a bit complex to tell. It’s hard to explain how I would go from meeting a couple of girls, to making out with them and banging them at their apartment. However, I think the lull comes in when I try to explain that, try to get to the emotions I felt. There was something different about Sabrina. When I saw her, I was moved, I can only explain it in a spiritual way. We connected. I don’t know if you’ve ever had that kind of feeling, you see someone and you just know you have to have them. This was before we even spoke. I was 22 when I had met her. Never had a significant girlfriend. I considered myself a bit of a Libertine. I had no idea really about D/s or any sort of dynamic. I think when she and I first came into contact that’s the first inkling I had of a dynamic. The feeling that we just fit together. It’s the feelings like that which are difficult to explain.
Sabrina and I dated a while after, much like Meg and I from another story. Of course their names are changed in the stories, but with Meg, I knew what I was and I knew the feeling I was feeling when I met her in that hallway at school. I was able to properly act on it, although I did get a bit carried away.
The stories I tell, take me back. Help me process myself and my choices. Writing has always done that for me. Always been the doorway to my soul. Some claim it’s the eyes which are the doorways, good luck trying to get anything out of my eyes or face for that matter. I’m stoic as fuck, or so it’s been said. I think that’s the control aspect to me. Never letting out more than I want out, and with each word I write I consciously choose what to let out. If you’re able and paying attention you can pick up on what I’m putting out. I think that’s what I hope I do with my writings. I build a connection with the reader. Perhaps they yearn for something in my stories, or perhaps they recognize slivers of themselves in one of the characters. All in all, I just hope they have an enjoyable experience.