In my last blog I said that I was leaving The Cage. Uncharacteristically, I did not say why. I wanted to leave because I was scared and hurt. And when that happens - I run. It is one of my worst qualities. I need to change.
Several people reached out to me, and I appreciate each person who did. One very kind Dom took the time to help me explore why I was leaving and whether it was a good move for me right now.
I said when I rejoined that I needed friends in this community. I am making those friends. Forgive me for flaking out on you. I have a lot of self-exploration to do before I really know exactly who I am. But I know I need to do it. I can't go back to vanilla - not now that I know the depths of emotion and sensation possible from serving a Dom that I love.
I know it will take me a long time to heal and maybe even longer to find someone for me, but I have to move forward. No more running for Vic, and no more lone wolf.
