When it comes to submission, I am a mere novice at best. I'll admit that. It takes a great amount of strength to give every ounce of power to another person. I've done it before. Let someone in so deep. I felt safe and secure. I also experienced pain and trauma at the hands of the person I let in.
It changed me. I have walls up now, fear. I'm scared to let someone that close just to be hurt again. But I wake up every day and I try. A little here and a little there. When it feels natural to try. Safe to try. I desire to submit. It's a part of me. As much as my brown eyes are a part of me. I crave it with every bone in my body.
But I will not be pressured, guilted, or manipulated into submitting to someone before I'm ready. Before I know that person has earned my submission. If that doesn't work for you....well.