My life and the buried desires

The first time I consciously realized I was a sub/brat I was 19 going on 20 here I was having sex with someone I was really into outside the bedroom but during sexy times it was bland obviously I ignored it trying to stay in this relationship then like any good Brat I started to push my boundaries I would act out for no reason just because I could or I would push my then partner to the limits but instead of me seeing this and stopping I continued to the point I started to pity him for staying with me so to save us both from making a larger mistake by staying together I ended the relationship. I stayed single for a while but I have a high sex drive so I ended up meeting a guy in a club we will call him X he took me home and there I was about to be a brat and push my limit and he looks at me an says NO in a tone of voice that almost made me cum well tried again and got a spanking for that shit. After X sat me down and asked me if I knew why I responded like that to him and he then explained to me what he believes my sexual kink I asked a few question such like why am I this way? will I ever be happy with just regular sex he told me yes but I may never be fully satisfied he directed me to a few books and websites where I could learn more and did I ever there is where I learned that I loved to be tied up, spanked I also learned I would never be a dom or a switch I'm just a submissive there is nothing wrong with wanting someone to take care of me and being at their beak and call for what ever needs they want. I never spoke to X again after that my happy he showed me what was missing