Still leaving

Ask her this one simple question 

" Have you put on a little weight? "

I walk into a bar and ask the Barmaid the following question !

 " Do you do cash back ? "

 " Yes "

 " Good, great. " I reply.

 " How much cash do you need ? " She asks 

 " That 50 quid I spent last night. My other half is doing her nut ! "

According to a study men who take Viagra may reduce their risk of getting Alzheimer.

So I am wondering if the following may apply !

It gets hard, but you can't remember what for ?

At this time no studies have been carried out on how this drug may help women. 

I am being serious because it is Alziemer's, and I have seen the terrible debilitating condition in my own family.

Before anyone gets on their high horse. 

I was doing a bit of research into my families surname. 

No wonder I love wolves and dogs.

It comes from old English around 1223, and could mean one of two things.

 " Wolves Valley " or " Valley frequented by Wolves. "

I will still howl at the moon 🌙

Mary had a little lamb.

It's fleece was white as snow.

Mary liked a curry.

So the fleece is now a throw !

If the Vagina had been developed by a government or a national research foundation. It would have cost billions in any currency to bring into production. 

It is an amazing piece of engineering and technology.

1. It is self maintaining.

2. It is self lubricating. In any situation it can produce just enough lubrication required.

3. It changes it own oil every month. This lasts for approximately 35 to 40 years. Even after this stage points 1and 2 still work.

The only problem is the temperamental management system fitted to each individual unit. 

Each unit has its own logic system installed. No one has been able to produce a fault diagnosis program ! 

The end user has to it out for themselves, and no guarantee is issued with the above product.

😂😂

A brunette and a blonde are out shopping.

When the brunette spots her boyfriend buying flowers.

She turns to her blonde friend and says.  

" That will be on my back, with my legs open

"

The blonde replied.

" Don't you have a vase ?" 

I have been thinking maybe it is time for me to take a rest from here. 

A month or two, who knows.

I will give a bit of history, I was at one point 18 years old and my trade training was at a place known as Saints. 

JJ worked in the guardroom, she was around 20. So we are going back all most pre history.

One of the lads on my course came back to barracks " Have you seen that blond in the guardroom ? She is fit as fuck. " 

I know you can't say that anymore. 

JJ was absolutely stunning then and now all these years later she is still beautiful. 

We don't keep in touch, but occasionally have a bit of banter. 

Lately she accused techies of nicking stuff. My response was " We permanently borrowed it !"

She would have made an absolutely wonderful mum. 

Last time we spoke, we were on about how our lives had worked out. 

This is how it went.

Superwoman: Single

Batgirl: Single

Wonderwoman: Single

I get it now 

I am a super hero .

You are a hero JJ 

She is not on this site, there are heroes in here. They just don't know it . 

If women and girls are made of sugar and spice, and all things nice.

How come the best bits taste of fish ?