I am focusing on me
I am NOT seeking a relationship for a while. (Yes, I know I have posted this, and yet I still keeping getting random guys that don’t read still sending me messages posting “do you want a slave?”)
• I DO NOT want a slave, I do NOT like the term slave. I think it’s morally wrong. (There is a huge difference between a submissive and slave. I was seeking a relationship, not an owner to a previous human now an object to do whatever the owning dominant wishes. I am NOT into that!)
• I do NOT Message me if you honestly did NOT read my entire profile or at least my deal-breakers. (I know what I want and what I do not want. Honestly, I want a reader more than submissive. The ironic thing is the people who read this blog are the same people who would actually read my profile, so thank you for both. The thing is I am writer first and dominant girlfriend second.)
• I am NOT seeking someone just to tell them what to do. (I eventually want someone so in-sync with me that he know what I want and what I don’t. if I have a craving, he knows to get it. Someone who wants me to be happy, but know I want them to have their own mind, dreams and things to make them happy too. I LOVE to micromanage, because I am a control-freak and being in control makes me feel better, it’s NOT my top ten things that make me happy.)
• I am NOT seeking an online half-ass wannabe relationship thing. (I have very weak wifi, my landlord is cheap and thinks a basic house modem can deal with more than ten devices. We have at least four running in our place alone. I also have NO privacy. I will NOT give my messengers or phone number just after one message or one day of messaging. I have learned my lesson. That just means I am dealing with impatient people. I just have one word for that CATFISH.)
• I do NOT want someone who just wants to “please” their dom sexually. (9 men out of 10 do NOT know what they are doing orally. Please google techniques. Hears two hints do not write letters or swirl with the tongue, and find the clit, its one of the most sensitive spots for most females.)
When I did search, I was looking for a submissive boyfriend . . . committed and connected relationship first, dominance second. I wanted someone into me, get to know me, read my work, and understand and truly me, and I did NOT get what I was seeking. I heard this on a podcast that even celebrity just want their relationships to be easy. It makes sense to me, let things come naturally. If you have to force things to make it work, then what is the point? At the end of the day, you are both tired and I just want to be able to enjoy the person I am with. I cannot do that completely in a relationship at this moment.)
I need to focus on my health issues.
• Currently my sleep patterns are off ( my cpap machine not really helping completely yet).
• I have a rash from the location I am in (the cheap paint and some of the bleach products that they use).
• My emotional issues (hyper, sad, angry, bouncy. . . uncontrolled mood swings and hormonal issues), and my female pains (taking sexual intimacy off the table. Which honestly sucks).
• Then I lost my main adult blog (tumblr, sigh. Anyone under 18 is off limits, it should be no one under 21 just to be safe, but someone dumbass has to pull in minors. It is wrong. For the horny teenagers, keep it your head, we do NOT need kids having more kids. . . enjoy your life. Because you can’t obey the damn law, I can’t express myself, damnit. Grrr. . . my 2 cent ramble.)
The thing is the three main reasons I cannot get a relationship.
• I think I do not have someone else yet is that I do not want to put my health issues on anyone else.
• I feel there is needs to be some kind of physical intimacy in a relationship and I think both side need to and want to cum it makes it fair grounds (I'm not asexual or grey sexual at the moment by choice.)
• I am not sure if I am truly over my ex as I keep comparing others to him and most do not add up (there is also a fear of getting hurt again. I know I am strong, but I am still working on the heal process. I do not think I can take another blow.)
I may take time off the personal sites for a while as I keep getting guys who instant want the dominant and slave, and yet there is no connection, no real relationship. I think I need to rewrite my profile because I keep getting guys against my deal-breakers. Some just want instant direction because they just do not want to control their own lives anymore and others just want to sexual please someone. . . I am NOT seeking either.
I think the best for me is to find friends who I truly connect with.
I rather have fun with friends some dinners, karaoke parties, card or board games, cuddles with movies, and if there is that submissive-yet-more-than-friends connections I get with someone, awesome. If not, I am still happy with who I am.
If you want to be friends, awesome. If not then I hope you find the dominant. (Note: if you are into a relationship, please let your other know that you have friends. I will NOT be a secret.)
So I’m focusing on myself.