I'm trying not to vent two days in a row. (So waiting a few …lol)
However I will try to give some advice….
Background info:
I have always had a dominant nature …I like to be in control. If not I become over sensitive, moody, and in constant worry. I'm not one of the types to simply let things go. (I've been using my therapy and spirituality to learn to let things go. It's a long process.)
I feel more in control when I get to know my friends and/or my submissives.
I cannot simply just be someone's dominant or someone's friend. (I even dropped other websites because too many people wanted me to instantly trust them. Or they push money somehow. I have sold a few of erotic stories, again I got to know my friend, I wrote for.)
Trust needs to be earned, and to get my trust ….it takes a lot of time. There needs to start with a casual chat. Then daily chats, they don't have to be short stories (paragraph after paragraph,) but I do need more than one line or "I'm fine." I want to know what is in someone's head.
(Note: the more both the sub and Dom know about each other, the better that type of relationship will work. It works for all friendships and relationships.) You need to know their strengths and weaknesses, and a good Dom will use them correctly.
As I have said in another blog, I have been getting approached to be a dominant, but I have no idea what kind of sub they are. Or I get the person interested in trying submission, but they are not sure about it. Or I get the Dom who thinks they can overtake me.(I thought I had taken down all possible ads or posts saying that I was interested in seeking someone. I hadn't posted those ads in years, since before the pandemic.)
I'm frustrated as most will not read my profile. I even changed my name….liked Mistress Dark Pen, but once they saw the Mistress they thought the extra woman or dominant. (I'm Dark writer as I also enjoy writing about horror as well.)
I'm in a good relationship with an amazing partner. He treats me well, so well that I'm not seeking others in dominance. I am only seeking friends with dirty minds.
I'm currently on a self discovery and recovery journey. I do not have time for it. I don't mind making friends who understand me, but I'm not sure when I'll get back into open/poly domination.
I will talk about my experience and tell what I know. I do believe in having a contract if you're not in a romantic relationship.
I also suggest having a safeword, and talk openly about what each side wants vs what each side can do.
I also have at least one dialogue each month on what's working and what's not working and tweak the contract as such.
Communication is a must.
So I've been working on myself. Maybe I'll post a piece or two about myself (non-erotic) unless my readers just want erotica. Let me know…