My rants

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - As I read your blog I notice the similarity in the relationship I have with my wife as I work to encourage her to become more dominant. In that sort of D/s lifestyle sorta way.
Her physical issues seem very similar. (Causes may be different)
I have come to find hope in this lifestyle to balance an inequity in need/want in my perception for sexual intimacy and her lack thereof due to physical nature and that of social stigma toward sexual behavior learned from family upbringing and the patriarchal world we live in.
I feel that your standards of submission seem perfect to apply to my situation as I learn to be and express my need to be submissive to her, I can see how these standards might apply to her enjoyment of the dynamic.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) - Was she a natural dominant or are you pushing a vanilla wife into a unknown kink?

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - She has a very dominant personality and I think the role will suit her well if she can find a comfortable space within the kink. She is very vanilla.
I am not pushing very hard lol. Sort of just introducing a perspective into the bedroom and perhaps in the future within our daily home life and who knows? Perhaps a little public down-low sorts of play tactics... I guess you would call it. All very timid examples by my observations within the kink community. For example, as we have talked about it, one of her soft limits is spanking.
Please understand that in the kink world, I may be very much vanilla as well. Although a warming of my backside has a certain attraction. That said, her uncomfortableness there means I would never push the idea.
First goal I suppose I have set for myself is her understanding that this is not really a requirement for us to be happy together, but a sort of playtime, that can help it flourish.
I have started by ritual as far as getting down to the kink of it. Presenting myself to her from time to time at her agreement on my knees and awaiting further direction.

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) - What does she do while you're on your knees?

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - What I really have learned in your post is to show my dedication outside of the equality we have established in our relationship in a way that isn't kinky. Reward for good behavior is what I'm after. I mean... Really... These are all attributes of what I have seen in happy marriages and what my wife and I have... save sexual inequity.

A certain loyalty or dedication to a mate that creates and celebrates joy.
How to include a little spice? That is the question :)
Thanks again!

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - To address the question above.
She isn't jumping right into her domme space it seems. But she is testing the water.
The first session was a lovely exchange of intimacy but the power dynamic flopped over mid session. To a sort of equality. Then man on top feel. Ending in her giving me my pleasure but my view was of of dominance looking down spoiling submissiveness. Really pretty wonderful! But not what our goal was. Although enjoyable not subspace.

The second session the power dynamic was kept pretty well.
She tumped down a jar of oil and said You will give me an exceptional footrub. I did. And she let me hump her feet as reward.
The position was one that offered me a feeling of submissiveness. As I held her lower body tightly. I went at it.
Her petting was nice too. The whole experience found that sorta subspace I have been looking for. :)
She hasn't talked to me about how she felt about it yet. But I have offered to talk.
Steady as she goes right?

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) - You need to be patient and realize she may be doing things for you. I did a lot of things for my ex even when I wasn't comfortable or didn't like them

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - I am. It will be the key to her feeling comfortable with her holding the key :) ;)
And... even if this doesn't work out. Nothing will get in the way of us living happily together. We are the best of friends. Together for 26 + years now. It is a forever thing I'm thinking... and even without this fringe bonus to our relationship its a pretty good thing.
Thanks again for your time and words.

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) - No problem. I miss having a submissive, friend, and boyfriend. My ex, tom, (r.I.p.) was all three, and that is what I am looking for.
I hope your wife find fun and enjoyment in dominance.

MesmerizedbyU​(sub male) - I'm so sorry for your loss :(
Nothing but positive energy being sent your way.

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) - Its OK, I believe I have bigger plans. My ex was in my past and taught me alot