It's amazing to me how many people fail to understand the third part of the first basic rule: Safe, Sane and CONSENSUAL. If a Dom was to break that basic tenant, then they have betrayed their submissive and caused real harm. If there is sex involved, then they have crossed the line and committed rape. I'm sure I don't need to explain this (given my potential audience), but everything that happens in a D/s relationship has to be voluntary. As paradoxical as it seems, the sub is actually the one in control because it is their consent that must be given.
When a sub surrenders herself to me, it's a rare and precious gift she gives. Absolute trust. She is placing her heart, her mind, her body - even her very life into my hands. She is giving me her consent to take her and do as I will with her. To own her. To mold her, teach her, build her up... or destroy her.
That's why trust is so essential. It can take years to build the kind of trust needed for this kind of relationship to work. She needs to know - not just think, but know deep in her core - that I will not take it too far. She has to know that if she uses the safe word it will work. That I will stop. Every time. Immediately. No matter what is going on. She has to know that I will take care of her before, during and after every session. That I will protect her from all harm... especially from myself.
It's my duty to her to take her to her limits... not past them. To make her stretch farther than she thought she could, but not beyond her breaking point. When I accept her surrender and place that collar around my pets throat, I have to trust her to tell me when she's close. When she's at her limits. I have to trust her to tell me, either vocally or with her body language, when enough is enough.
I have to trust that she is telling me the truth.
That's why I will not tolerate my submissives or potentials lying to me. About anything. I have to know I can trust them, and vice-versa.
Tell me the truth, my dear. I promise you won't regret it. With truth comes trust. With trust comes complete surrender, and all the pleasures that come with it.
