From Sir to u

Zphearycle - This one is something of a tricky query--most submissives answering may sound very similar, yet I'm afraid no two answers are going to be exactly the same. However, as submissive, myself, I'll take a chance, and roll my dice.

To an extent, I am "old skool." Long distance, perhaps, to get to know one-another; in person to get to know more and, if chemistry and compatibility match up the way we believe it will, carry out precisely that delicious slap of hand, and sting of crop.

So... an example on "old skool." Ish.
Online/offline, either way, to Mistress and myself, there is only one protocol. Online is me representing Mistress to the fullest of whom I happen to be and, on the few moments when Mistress and I are both online, this is a treasured moment we share. Together. 99% of the time, she and I are together... offline.

From past endeavors, however, I also remember being an "online submissive." These would begin as online, and gravitate towards offline; however, the protocol remained--once set, if parameters changed, it was discussed between we-two and agreed upon beforehand. Or during. Or, if something was desired to be added to protocol, or taken away from protocol, it was brought to a Mistress, first, with present protocol followed until she made a final decision.


But a lot of submissives, in many ways, they are only capable of online contracts, whether to their own choice, or because of life events beyond their control. Online can be highly personal, exceptionally intimate, if dominant and submissive get along exceptionally well. It is very possible to reach limited versions of subspace, and headspace, that take hours or days to settle out of, even with aftercare, as the mind is truly a powerful part of the ID.

To an extent, yes... the online frame of mind is a place to really, really get in deep with reduced limits--if you can envision it, you can write it out. If you can envision what is being done, you can imagine what it might feel like, and you can sink into space during the online session.

So, it's a tricky thing....
If I, as a submissive, told my Mistress, "At this point, I would let you do anything you want, to me," I can tell you very precisely what my Mistress would do to me... truss me up in a stocks, plant me in the corner facing that corner, paddle me for thirty strokes, and tell me to think about what I just said to my Mistress, before she would settle in her chair and wait for me to apologize.

Because, for me, this would be a direct, unwarranted challenge to Mistress, and I simply don't do that.

I know that this probably isn't answering your own troubled thoughts, very well, but as I mentioned, you are very likely to receive quite a few answers, in this regard. You have my best wishes to your plight.

Zphearycle

Gaiawolf​(sub female){RogueWolf} - I'll take a stab. :) for me personally, online is a safe way to feel out a Dom and begin the process of learning eachother and gaining that crucial trust that has to be there. I am an open book when asked questions, concerns, fears. So usually within a week or so you would have all the ammo you need to either move the relationship forward, or crush me. The setting and agreeing upon rules, the questions of limits and agreement of them, all these things when done with lots of communication online can show if a Dom is serious about me or just trying to get more pics and another online conquest. But without the in person contact, it falls flat of a real relationship to me. Long distance can work for a while, but after a point what is the point. I have a great imagination and can do all sorts of things to myself without being "ordered" to. So if in the end we are not going to be in person, then I don't see the point. But again this is just me.
And then if the online lasts too long before meeting irl, you are practically starting over with getting to know the person face to face.
Don't know if this makes sense lol

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} - I started as online as a way to get to know the other person and it works well for me in the beginning. But the intent was to go to IRL, as I need touch from the other person and the ability to look into their eyes to see their expressions and feelings in person. To read their face and body language, to connect. While you can do a certain amount of that online it just can't replace in person for me. Besides, I need to feel his hand spanking my ass and no amount of on line imagining will work for me.

goodgirlsalwayswin​(sub female) - Online can be a perfect gateway to real life. However, I think that if someone is willing to talk sexually with multiple people that their focus isn’t where it should be. Even though I’m new to the lifestyle, a true D/S relationship, even in the beginning stages, should require dedication to securing a powerful mental connection. That connection can and should transcend time and distance, but how do you single out the individualization for that relationship while juggling the attentions of others?!?

As for you sensing that she seems to want the rules tossed aside, deep down I’m sure it’s flattering to think a Dom can be overcome with such intense animalistic passion that his senses are momentarily paused long enough to ravage a sub sans rules. But this lifestyle hinges on limits, rules, respect and consent.