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Things that make you go, hmmm...

SubAtomic
5 years ago • Jan 13, 2019
SubAtomic • Jan 13, 2019
Fudbar wrote:
It's a waste of time and brain power to ponder the endless possibilities of 'that didn't work'.

Idiots gonna idiot, rude is rude.

Because Internets.

Concentrate efforts on that which clicks.

Walk where it ain't.

Some cars not for use with some sets.


Spot on. Fortunately I wasn't sipping my coffee when I read this.
I'm new here - and I've not once considered blocking anyone.
Even the clueless guy who wants me to be his sub and is having so much trouble finding a girl to cater to his every whim...
Freya369
5 years ago • Jan 13, 2019
Freya369 • Jan 13, 2019
Words have meaning, or should do. Who knows why someone stops communicating? I still assert, it's to do with that well known barrier....truth...people don't like to hear it.

All it takes is a " I am of a different opinion, or no thanks, not for me" but thank you for your time. Takes 2 seconds to write and yet....the world still turns!
WaterDominant​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jan 14, 2019
WaterDominant​(dom male) • Jan 14, 2019
Yes I agree etiquette and communication style separates the cultured (as in knowing how the BDSM culture is based on respect) and the newbie and wannabes.
Someone who is familiar with the culture would know that you don't simply stop communication without giving a reason so if it was based on a faux pas, they will be able to correct it next time.
Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
5 years ago • Jan 14, 2019
Rope DomBondage wrote:
Yes I agree etiquette and communication style separates the cultured (as in knowing how the BDSM culture is based on respect) and the newbie and wannabes.
Someone who is familiar with the culture would know that you don't simply stop communication without giving a reason so if it was based on a faux pas, they will be able to correct it next time.


Strongly disagree. No one owes anyone a reply, and not giving one doesn't mean someone isn't familiar with BDSM culture or doesn't have respect.

I'm going to explain this again. In vanilla and kink, women get TONS of messages. Some are rude. Some are not. They respond to some. Others they don't respond to. Sometimes they lose interest, or the other party says something off-putting. They cease talking. This is fine.

It's not someone else's responsibility to point out your faux pas. For those screaming 'but it's polite to respond and say no thank you!!', I say try it. The responses that one typically receives to a polite 'I'm not interested, thanks..' range from pleading to insults to outright threats. Yet one should endure this toxic slop because... manners? Nah. Fuck that.

If you didn't get a response, move on. You are never owed one. And for the love of God, please don't reply to this claiming to be a nice polite guy. Go get a gold star from mommy for being so nice. Don't demand every contact acknowledge that with a reply. It's not going to happen while 90% of the playing field is toxic men.

Edit: spelling
WaterDominant​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jan 14, 2019
WaterDominant​(dom male) • Jan 14, 2019
Respect and dignity are hallmarks of western civilization and a mainstay of BDSM.
Please see my recent blog An old school Dom
LatexHer​(dom male)
5 years ago • Jan 14, 2019
LatexHer​(dom male) • Jan 14, 2019
I get people hitting me up for information all the time. When you have been in our D/s community for 40+ years, I remain vigilant that I have not heard it all! Some people are just ignorant when asking questions or the ones that carry on so many conversations that they get confused in what they write a reply too!

Granted I have fat fingers myself and am not a keyboard guru. I learned to type on an Underwood manual before we got a Selectric! Spellcheck to has its limits when you are in a hurry or forget to read what you wrote - shame on me!

Mostly though I would not trade any important information with anyone I have either not met or are unverified! Good communication is getting lost in today's world, I fear. Even what I am out - just look around - people texting on their smartphones or playing some game instead of talking! Soon there may be few people left who can intelligently carry on a conversation?
Miki​(masochist female)
5 years ago • Jan 15, 2019
Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 15, 2019
I have had a few of those "without preamble" come-ons before, albeit quite early in my "membership" here, but now it's all peace and quiet because I "bullet-proofed" my profile by putting "Not Looking" in bold, red (or some bright color) letters.
I have never nor intend to initiate any conversations outside of sticking my 2 cents in on forums because exchanging messages on occasion is as far as I want to be invested in an online scene. Someone wants to talk to me I accept and reply to messages, but as I don't hang around in here more than ten minutes at a time-- every day or every other day, I don't have time for chats, chat rooms and the like. Chats drag on past their usefulness and I'm really not one to sit around with my finger up my ass waiting for a reply, or trying to come up with one.

EDIT And I have only blocked one, maybe two and those were hard heads who can't understand the words "No, Thanks" and/or refuse to take same for an answer.