Question!?

Question!?

Buffy​(switch female) • Jan 22, 2019

I have been talking to this guy that APPROACHED Me to dominate him.

Given that we started to converse around the holidays, I didn’t pay too much attention to the lack of communication; to he honest, My communication skills kind of suck..

Anyway, I would ask basic questions and his answers were short lived. he doesn’t contact Me first and fails to follow the simplest rules. he claims he wants zero control but I don’t think that’s completely true.

My question is, should I say something to him?? It’s been a few days since we’ve spoke and I gave him a set of rules. Usually, in these cases, I wait to see if I will be contacted first because one is never to busy to indulge in something they absolutely want..

Misanthrope • Jan 22, 2019

Hey, good morning, Buffy. I'm sure you know this already, but there are a LOT of posers on these types of websites, so in all likelihood he is just playing at being a sub. However, (there's always a but, isn't there?) in order to keep your conscience clear, just come out and tell him that you expect him to stay in contact with you and follow the rules you've set down. The first time he shies away from contact, just end it. People always show their true colors sooner rather than later.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Jan 22, 2019

He could be playing you, he could be so inexperienced he doesn't know how to act properly, he could not actually be a sub... So many things.

I second what Josh has suggested... If you have specific thins you want/need and he's not meeting them, you need to tell him flat-out what you expect. Either he will shape up because he's sincere and he wants to please, or he will show you he's not ready/willing/whatever to be your submissive, and it's up to you to end ties there.

I say give him a chance in at least explaining to him what your desires/rules/whatever are, and give him a little time to adjust and act accordingly. Also take into consideration his wants and desires... It should go both ways, so make sure to ask him for what /he/ wants, too. If he doesn't change or compromise or make any effort? Then make the decision of whether or not it's worth your time.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 22, 2019

"He failed to follow the simplest rules"

You kind of answered this for yourself.


I am not going to make a judgement about him because that doesn't matter here.

The question really is -

He has already shown you he isnt vested in obeying you.
Why continue this on your end?


I do not chase.
My time, effort, and energy are to important.
So are yours.

Your time, effort, and energy as a Domme needs to be respected.

He has already shown that he will not do that.

In other words ---- he has shown you who he is. It us now your choice whether or not to believe him.

Kitty21​(sub female) • Jan 22, 2019

Sounds to me like he is either insecure about his submissive side, and could be fighting it internally, or he's just not willing to obey you.

Either way, I would talk to him about it, let him know he's not following through on your expectations of him, and see what he has to say.

If you aren't satisfied with his answer, cut him loose.

Buffy​(switch female) • Jan 29, 2019

I appreciate all of your answers and took your advice. Once again, his answers were short lived; they were like simple, generics answers you can put with anything. So I let him go.

I honestly think he just wants to be topped and not dominated.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jan 29, 2019

unfortunately for some (not all) once they stumble on the real deal (someone actually offering ) they freak out. Sorry it didn't go as planned but I'm sure you'll receive many more offers of submission.