Just a question

Just a question

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • Jan 29, 2019

This is maybe a little different to ask but I'm curious.

Being a newbie during the holidays I was tired of all the fakes and wanta bes. So I closed my profile out on the other site and FetLife. But from the middle of November and until I came here I felt empty or like I was missing something.
When I found TheCage the feeling disappeared. I had gradually got the feeling I'm where I belong. At times I say I'm not going to read or write on blogs or the forums. Or I'm not going to answer messages but I do. What's bad I've not had a session or a meeting of a Dom in person. I'm always drawn back.

So the question is when you started out did or do you feel this? Just wondering if it is common?

SubAtomic • Jan 29, 2019

This site feels more sane than any other I've been on. The number of women here impressed me. The thoughtful writing, the questions - all of it is pretty grounded.
The number of real people here sharing their personal journeys keeps me here. People like you.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • Jan 29, 2019

@SubAtomic... Thank you... This site has really been good for me. The couple I had checked out and the one I was on their format was nothing like this. Being able to communicate with D/s is great.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 29, 2019

Thecage has been very therapeutic for me.

I don't post personal anything in fetlife. It's to dangerous.


I really like the people here.

There seems to be almost no drama.

On the flip side: I don't believe there are wanna be or fakes. There are people that utilize BDSM dishonestly. There are people that don't.

I feel it us very easy to label someone as a "wanna be" when expectations are unmet.
Those terms are used as derogatory slurs. And rarely do any good.


But yes, Thecage is a wonderful community.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 29, 2019

On another thought.
Finding where a person belongs can be a difficult process.

We thought we belonged somewhere for years.

Now we make our own community.

What I really love is that our communities have grown so much that you can move from group to group until you find what you are hoping for. And if you don't find it- you can make it.


I didn't fit in a lot of groups. I just kept walking. I still don't fit in a lot if groups. I just keep working on cultivating my own space.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • Jan 29, 2019

@MasterBear thank you as always your honesty is appreciated.

Yes on thecage icebox encountered what I did on the other site or even FetLife. I do understand what you are saying about FetLife.

I try not to be derogatory but I had horrible experience.

Here I've found friends. No I may not have alot of I guess followers. It doesn't really matter but what I've learned is better.

It's just I just frustration of trying to find the right Dom and not being patient. Huge weakness but I'm trying hard. Because if anything I know submission is a precious gift.

Again thank you for your comments

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jan 29, 2019

I enjoy the forums here. I've found the staff/owners to be caring and approachable. I find a good balance is here, from every walk of life and level of experience. I often end up lopsided and little one eyed being Femdom orientated so being on a mixed BDSM site is good for me. ...and reminds me to not get that way.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • Jan 29, 2019

@MissBonnie thank you so much for your comment. Every little bit of information and points a view helps me understand a little more.