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Tips for a first meet

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Kinkyp69​(dom male)
3 months ago • Sat 27 Oct 2018 06:02:20 AM IDT
Kinkyp69​(dom male) • Sat 27 Oct 2018 06:02:20 AM IDT
Great topic all! One can never be to safe in this day and age. From all the responses I see here . I am glad to see this. Even as a Dom you never truly know what you may be stepping into. Having daughters I am going to suggest they use the app Life 360.
Miss Tia​(sub female)
3 months ago • Sat 27 Oct 2018 07:02:32 AM IDT
Miss Tia​(sub female) • Sat 27 Oct 2018 07:02:32 AM IDT
This is an great post! As someone who has has never met anyone yet, this gives me ideas on safety.
MasterBear​(other butch)
3 months ago • Mon 29 Oct 2018 07:02:32 PM IST
MasterBear​(other butch) • Mon 29 Oct 2018 07:02:32 PM IST
I don't have a lot of rules for meeting people. Usually someone will ask me out for coffee, and my love knows where I'm going.

I have come to the belief that as Community has evolved so has our predators .



Basic Community rules are meet somebody at a public place, preferably at a BDSM event, get tested, get references., have a safe call.


As far as I'm concerned predators that have been doing predatory behavior for a while know how to use all of this stuff to their advantage to create a sense of security and safety, but that doesn't stop them that only empowers them.


For me it's all about how does the person "feel".

As far as testing and all of that I don't do any of that until I know who this person is and I know that there's some chemistry. Otherwise it's a bunch of running around for something that as soon as I meet him my gut might just say no way.



I have a couple of requirements for people that I play with. I tend to be incredibly selective.


My 2 biggies are one has to be some sort of chemistry and two they have to bring something to my table.
I will not be a play pez dispenser.
Bunnie
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 07:30:43 AM IST
Bunnie • Wed 06 Feb 2019 07:30:43 AM IST
So... I had a meet not long ago. Had a safe call in place. Everything organised. We met for lunch at a cafe and everything was going great. It was kind of busy and noisy, however it was a really nice relaxed atmosphere. During our very interesting conversation, I happened to hear a familiar sound and my heart stopped. My phone! I had forgotten to turn it up enough to actually hear it ring from inside my bag. Dumbest thing ever! My poor friend calling icon_sad.gif
I answered and apologised.
Luckily my date was very lovely and hadn’t tried to kill me icon_biggrin.gif

So... a tip... have your phone within hearing distance! Lol.
Loulou​(sub female){( owned)}
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:48:36 AM IST
Loulou​(sub female){( owned)} • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:48:36 AM IST
I really wished I had had this information at the beginning of my journey. This is why reading up for newbies is important.
I rushed everything and went from 0 to 100. I was very dangerous as no one knew where I was going . So my advice ( not that I did this but I have learnt a lesson) is definitely have an informal meeting first and definitely a safe call in place .
This is why this community is so good because there are some really experienced and supportive people. I think we are all learning on this journey and we all learn from our experiences and hopefully grow and develop.
Carpenter
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 12:42:09 PM IST

STI Check

Carpenter • Wed 06 Feb 2019 12:42:09 PM IST
AmberRising wrote:
Great post idea, Bunnie! I keep first meets on a vanilla level. Coffee and talk type of thing. If I'm ever in a dynamic again, I will use a safeguard contact. We were talking about that in chat recently. Makes a lot of sense. Also, a recent STI check is crucial. But I'm curious how recent others prefer. A week? Month? Year? ? What's the normal protocol for that?


I guess a recent Check is crucial yes, but I would never really believe I am save then !
It is crucial to me to use condominiums and perhaps medical gloves till deep trust can be established.
Right now there is a lot danger sexual related illness going around Europe, I wonder if people don’t know what moral, responsibility and respect means!
Keep everyone save please ?
Greetings
Curlyniccia​(sub female)
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 06:22:01 PM IST
Curlyniccia​(sub female) • Wed 06 Feb 2019 06:22:01 PM IST
Great post.
Considering i'm not even at that point yet - meeting someone the information that i have taken from here is invaluable especially for someone relatively new like me.
You guys have discussed things that I have not even thought of.
(I silently wondered who I would have as an emergency contact to check I was safe - now I know - good friends on here)
So thank you for putting this out there.
Much needed
Justme26
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:40:03 PM IST
Justme26 • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:40:03 PM IST
I know this is not much of a story but:

I have not quite met twice. The first wanted me to meet her in a hotel room but puled out when I said I wanted to meet in a public place the first time. There were other red flags as well (up to then I thought that men were quite safe, but at least I had the sense to ask for advice and it seems not). The second did not turn up, said she was called into work, but would not answer my E mails after that. My understanding now is that some people get scared when it gets too real, which I suppose is fair (I get hideously nerves my self).

My advice would be to ALL WAYS meet in a public place at least once. It is relatively easy for a fake to seem real online. Also look out for those red flags. Apparently there is a thing called sub fever (I think I have got that wrong but something like that). Some people get over excited and do things that they would not do if they were thinking with there brains instead of there genitals. Watch out for this.

Just be safe, especially the ladies.
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx}
1 week ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:55:40 PM IST
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Wed 06 Feb 2019 09:55:40 PM IST
I think the most important thing is that both parties feel safe and comfortable. Have a phone contact, or even a trusted friend sitting at a table across the room. Pick a public location, but not one that will be too crowded. Crowds are not conducive to getting to know someone. Power exchange is a heavy thing and should not be taken lightly. Take your time. I find that I am an excellent judge of character..... except when I like someone. So I plan... everything. And waaaaay in advance. That way I dont do something stupid when my good judgment goes out the window. Know yourself well enough to know where your weaknesses are and plan ahead