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Real Time and Online : What's your prefence and why?

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Sybil
2 months ago • Thu 14 Mar 2019 04:54:05 PM IST
Sybil • Thu 14 Mar 2019 04:54:05 PM IST
I don’t like long distance type anything... so a online relationship only wouldn’t work for me... would I met someone online with the intention to become RL it’s a possiblity. However “playing online” gives me no gratification so don’t think it wouldn’t work for me! My preference is definitely RL
BreakingYou​(dom female)
2 months ago • Thu 14 Mar 2019 10:43:32 PM IST
BreakingYou​(dom female) • Thu 14 Mar 2019 10:43:32 PM IST
Absolutely, IRL. If it starts online, that's fine with me, but it needs to become, IRL. Online only, with no intention of ever meeting in person, will not work for me, personally.
Poetic​(sub female)
2 months ago • Fri 15 Mar 2019 02:06:00 AM IST
Poetic​(sub female) • Fri 15 Mar 2019 02:06:00 AM IST
My answer is regarding RL vs OL influences.

I am in no place to nor would I ever judge another individuals preference.

Personally, I've done both and at the same time. I started online which is how I learned about this life. It was a safe place for me to learn, explore, and experiment. It was a safe and consensual place for me to have limitations pushed. If it became too much for me then taking a step back to reassess was easily at my disposal.


I do love writing and I love role-playing so the best place for me to learn the basics and even beyond the basics was online. I gained a very large friend base as well as a large platform for me to ask questions and have them addressed by thousands of people at any given time should I chose.


I took years to learn and then once I became comfortable enough to take it offline my online Master became my RL Master.


Because of all of this, I became very knowledgeable of the facts, procedures, and typical practices thoroughly and extremely fast. I became an online trainer for new subs and a role-play trainer for new slaves. Although there are no hard and fast rules for being a sub, slave, dom or master, the online knowledge could only expand upon the real life experience.


 My previous master and I both spent time online role-playing together and apart. After a while it made more sense and was a lot more fun for our online selves find other partners to role play with.

He found another couple where the wife was new to the lifestyle and wanted to learn more however but she struggled learning the concepts, so we swapped partners. This was an amazingly fun experience. During our role play time online I belonged to another and he owned another.  

~poetic
ADIDAS
1 month ago • Wed 27 Mar 2019 02:42:08 PM IST

Sound advice

ADIDAS • Wed 27 Mar 2019 02:42:08 PM IST
PrevalingMaster wrote:
As a Dom to me - most subs get online and lose themselves in a fantasy world, look if that's what they want that is their choice. ... I've been burned too many times by promises of going real time only to be disappointed or ghosted after a week or 2 - offering excuses as to why we couldn't meet or even talk over the phone just yet. My 2 cents is ...Don't waste people's time and play with their Minds or emotions.


Great advice here but not seeing how this directly answers the posted original question..... Online or in real life? Maybe from being " burned" so many times, you're coming to expect the worst from people rather than their best? Just my 2 cents worth.

P.s. I know what that ghosting feels like. It's no joke. Painful and confusing. Left with no answers. Even worse if there has been a real life connection, then....... Poof, gone.
I'm sorry you've experienced that.
LordofPain56
1 month ago • Thu 28 Mar 2019 06:15:22 AM IST
LordofPain56 • Thu 28 Mar 2019 06:15:22 AM IST
I never understood how there could be a intimate or emotional attachment in a virtual world. But then, I never had a camera attachment to my desktop computer or whatever it is you need to be able to see the person on the other end of the line. Still, I don't think it would be beneficial to me. I need to see and interact in real life, rather than attempt to "live" through the internet.
Dalpalz
1 month ago • Thu 28 Mar 2019 06:20:21 AM IST
Dalpalz • Thu 28 Mar 2019 06:20:21 AM IST
I am a dominant female looking for a submissive male
bondagetoy67​(sub male){Bondage pu}
1 month ago • Fri 29 Mar 2019 09:16:33 PM IDT
bondagetoy67​(sub male){Bondage pu} • Fri 29 Mar 2019 09:16:33 PM IDT
Love to be whipped tie up with you and your team for life to the fullest extent of the day I was a little more than a few minutes to talk with the support of the day with you and the only way to
Slave2bused
1 month ago • Sat 30 Mar 2019 11:54:58 AM IDT

Re: Real Time and Online : What's your pmine is serving a Do

Slave2bused • Sat 30 Mar 2019 11:54:58 AM IDT
Well i miss that so om hoping to find one that will enjoy ising me.
MstressWhipplash wrote:
So many from different countries approach when they won't be ever meeting.

The other approach is to go to as many local Munches as possible to make friends and socialise.

The third approach is to get to kink stuff when available due to work and life commitments, while keeping up to date with kinkster friends by chatting online.

How do you balance kink and what options do you prefer from above, or some other option?

Mistress Whipplash Ma'am
knicks33
1 month ago • Sat 30 Mar 2019 05:43:07 PM IDT
knicks33 • Sat 30 Mar 2019 05:43:07 PM IDT
I think to try to decide "which" is better is why so many people cannot even understand "online'. . .

We all read books, go to movies, see plays. . . some of us that played sports may coach a team. . .and why do we do so?

those activites are not "physical" . . .we don't get to receive the kiss we just read. . . if you ever saw the movie "love story". . . did you feel emotion at her death? it wasn't real. . . nor even personal. . .

Online is another form of developing pleasure. . . enjoyment in an area of life you wish to explore. . . no different than reading a book. Effort in Pleasure out.

Personally, I had lengthy experience in "face to face". . . and circumstances ended such activity which I truly enjoyed. . . and I thought I'd try online. . . .I was amazed at the pleasure it produced. . .was it the same. . . of course not. . . .nor was reading the Story of "O". . . the same either. . .

The decision is not whether online or "face to face is better. . . but whether online can be another form of pleasure.

Is watching a movie better than a real experience. . . no. . but we still find pleasure . . .

Online, is more difficult than watching a movie or reading a book, as it does require planning, active participation. . . and depending on the role. . obedience to instruction. . . or coming up with "experiences" and controls. . .

Those who haven't time, or are unwilling to make such effort will not experience that pleasure. . . which really is no different than not seeing the movie or reading the book. . . Effort in, pleasure out.
Bunnie
1 month ago • Sun 31 Mar 2019 10:36:29 AM IDT
Bunnie • Sun 31 Mar 2019 10:36:29 AM IDT
My experiences have been mixed. I have had a few online interactions of varying degrees, lengths, and levels of intimacy and D/s.

As much as I love getting to know people this way (I kind of liken it to getting to know each other from the inside out), I could never understand why I couldn’t successfully maintain a D/s long distance (online with the goal to meet) relationship (one year of actively being in a D/s relationship being the longest).

What I have come to learn is this... I am capable of being submissive online. I am capable of following orders and doing tasks and having routine... in fact, I thrive on it. I can give and give and give. I was capable of putting my Dominant above everything and everyone else... until... life. Suddenly it became obvious that I couldn’t keep giving and giving and giving. I was spread way too thin. There were demands in other directions that I know wouldn’t be there if we weren’t apart. So much stress and other things tearing my focus away, which just added to the stress, because now failure was added to the growing list of things I could beat myself up about.

What I have learned recently is that the problem isn’t my capability to give... it’s the lack of replenishment. What gives me nourishment? touch, sound, smell, voice, connection, intimacy, being dragged (sometimes even kicking and screaming) out from within my head... this is a huge one for me. I am an over thinker. Online feeds this like a hungry beast, and makes me overthink even more. Sometimes I just need something physical to just make me stop and breathe and simply remember how to just “be.” Some of these are mildly achievable over distance... however, I have come to realise... not enough for me to maintain the balance of giving as much as I desire to.

*The dilemma I have however, is that I’m a hopeless romantic who isn’t put off by something as small as distance. So I find myself falling for people on the other side of the world, who I will travel to. It just hurts and is damn frustrating and difficult. Having to have patience is annoying.