Any help or advice much appreciated.

Any help or advice much appreciated.

Justme26 • Apr 30, 2019

I am talking to a lady about a posable long distance / virtual (whatever you call it) relationship. I am a bit confused by what is involved. She is a slave / slut / little etc and seems open to most things (blood and public humiliation are her only stated limits). I am a dominant sadist. I would want her to suffer in varies ways and then tell me about it. But is that how this kind of arrangement works.

Literally any advice, ideas or information would be very much appreciated. However two questions stand out for me, as she will be on her own whirl carrying out my instructions: 1. How to ensure safety? and 2. What can be done by way of after care? Thanks in advance.

Badviking​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2019

How about we stop using the over engineered phrase after care, and just use care. Most things are more effective when applied consistently rather than piecemeal.

You sound like you have posted on all the right places and read all the right things...... So let me just briefly mention what I would consider more important than either of your questions.
You are taking on a potentially HUGE responsibility. You are planning on playing "how addicted to me can I make you", but with no actual ability to correct or observe anything but what she is willing to let you see/know. If she's honest and sane - Excellent.

With every task she successfully completes, your risk aversion drops a bit, her trust in you grows a bit and she is tied a little harder to you. That means that before you give her the task, you have to be able to tell if she is doing something because she's 99% sure it won't get her in major trouble (loosing job, kids, jail, crash, die etc,) or because of her trust and bond to you. That covers 1. And if you intentionally or unintentionally fuck that up you're gonna feel like an abusive asshole no matter if she is honest and sane.

Again presupposing she is honest and sane, and that you two have gained some traction. She's a human being and so are you. There will be days where anger/pain/misunderstandings/tears rules. That's part of it. If you're not prepared to lead with a hug and a shoulder, swallow your anger and pride and answering that text/call/msg in as high or higher frequency, as you do when your dick is hard - then you ARE an exploitative asshole.

Communicate, communicate, communicate. Make intelligent, informed decisions and be worthy them. Be transparent, dependable and stable in your contact. When your cock is hard as rock, and her her cunt throbs and she's mentally decorating her new "mind-home", it's your responsibility to be sane and make good choices.

Can you do that?
Do you believe her to be sane and honest?

Ok... Go for it!

Re: Any help or advice much appreciated.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Apr 30, 2019

There is so much that can be said here and I'm sure others will chime in too. I just want to run with one point
I'm at a little of loss to figure out why she would be alone. You have voice and cams at your disposal, cells and land lines. You have the ability to see and hear what is happening, yet you wish her to "tell "you about it later?. A sub need never be alone when its online, there are so many ways to keep i touch, without physical touch. Granted some times a Dom/me can leave them with tasks to complete but in the early days until you know if she do things safely or how she handles drop or aftercare etc like the above, badvikking said.....why not keep it to cam and/or voice until you know.

Justme26 • Apr 30, 2019

Bonny: I have never really used the things that you are talking about, but I guess I can. She seems a bit nerves, she wont post a photo until she trusts me, but yes, good point.

Both of you: thanks.

Bunnie • May 1, 2019

@ Badviking, wow... great response!

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 2, 2019

You are very welcome for the reply. cams etc are easy to use, I'm sure you'll pick them up in no time.