One night cravings

One night cravings

DollwithKinks​(sub female) • Sep 16, 2019

So many of you must have understood what I am gonna bring up already. And its been nagging me for a long time whether its just me who feels like this, or is it normal? What I am talking about actually is "one night cravings". Is there anyone who feels one night cravings to be submissive? One night cravings to be a dom? Like somedays you get up and you just feel the urge to serve or to control? And somedays you might get up and forget the kink in your life at all. Thats what happens with me and this is the reason why I have never been able to maintain a constant relationship with any of the doms I have interacted with so far. I'm like this unstable ball of kink that doesnt always feel the need for kink but when I do I just need it anyhow and anywhere. Is it normal to feel like this? Does this seem to indicate that I'm not submissive enough as opposed to my test results? On the contrary, if even one incident or even a small line said by someone relates somehow to my submissive side, then it awakens. Its like sometimes I forget the submissive in me and it gets ignited again by certain incidents. CAN ANYONE RELATE?
How is it for yall? Is the feeling to serve (for subs) and the urge to dominate always there?

I'd like to know your opinions on this. Thank you.

Bunnie • Sep 16, 2019

Hi @ DollwithKinks,

I’m going to give you my personal opinion that has kind of developed over time and observation. It is definitely not shared by others.

Many will tell you that perhaps you’re a switch or simply a bedroom submissive... and you very may well be... some self-study will surely help you determine that.

I personally have come to believe that it simply comes down to our level of comfort with being vulnerable. Some people like to dip their toe in every now and then. Some prefer to dive right on in. Most find themselves here, dive right on in and then get hurt... so they close back up and either change their status with the desire to maintain more control, therefore not allowing themselves to be hurt like that again, or they learn to go slower.

The basis of all of this is trust. When you have that trust with someone, the journey could go anywhere... it’s up to those involved to determine the direction they want to go in.

In my opinion, it’s about finding the level of vulnerability that is comfortable for you... whether you only want to dip your toe in every now and then... or live fully submerged... it’s your choice. There’s also the possibility that it may change over time.

DollwithKinks​(sub female) • Sep 16, 2019

@Bunnie
Beautifully written. And thank you so much.

It is true I definitely need to work out more with my emotions to learn about myself.

But what I want to know even if I happen to be "bedroom submissive" or I just like to dip my toe now and then is it wrong to do so?

Bunnie • Sep 16, 2019

“But what I want to know even if I happen to be "bedroom submissive" or I just like to dip my toe now and then is it wrong to do so?”

No one can tell you what’s right or wrong for you. Would it be the right fit for me? No. But I’m not you and you’re not me.

There are many, many, many here who’s preference is what you’re asking. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised to find that it’s the “norm.”

DollwithKinks​(sub female) • Sep 16, 2019

That make me feel so much better. And its just fair to be on and off till you find the right one I believe. I believe the right person can make me settle down and give up my unstableness.

In an ever lasting search for the right one. *Sigh*

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 16, 2019

I have always had to control what goes on around me in all things. Having said that there are times when I have been with certain women (not a Dommi) that I just wanted to do whatever it took to make them happy. A part of me just took over and I just had to make sure the time we spent together was the best they have ever had. It was always short lived and far between. Since I've gotten older I tend to beat down that part of me but I do tend to spoil my lady love a little to much at times. There was one woman who I could have been something different for but she once saw a part of me that scared her and she left.
Still there are times I do rise and do things for my love that some would question if I was her sub. Then again when you love like this you can't help but want to see her smile when you do simple but unexpected things for her. I don't think this is anywhere near what your talking about but it is a little insight to what goes on in me.
So few are alike in anything. Be who you are even if you have to find out who that is first. Sometimes the journey is far better than finding your destination. Not all will take that first step even fewer will make it half way and those that do finish do not always find what they were hoping to find when they see their true selves. The first step has been taken by you now find the road and enjoy the journey. Once you find who you are be at peace with her and get to know and respect her. People come and go in our lives but it is ourselves who will always be there when no one else is.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Sep 17, 2019

There is nothing wrong at all with dipping your toes in now and again. As long as the person you offer those toes to knows they might get retracted again.
If your unsure on what you are (as in sub, bedroom only, fetishist etc) explain it to the person you plan you give yourself to. Making sure your BOTH on the same page is more important than the label (IMO)

Best of luck

Bunnie • Sep 17, 2019

@ MissBonnie,

A very important clarification, thank you.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Sep 24, 2019

Sure its normal.

For some ppl to "submit" they need to have an extreme amount of control around it.

It will happen between this time and that. With this person.
- having a stranger helps with the emotional removal


Then I can "go back to life".

Normal -- yes.

Highly sexualized.

Yes.

Safe is another issue.

I advise going to a recognized and vetted pro.

Until you figure yourself out.
Getting that intense sexual edge curbed helps you make better decisions.
Porn is a good idea.
Masturbation is highly recommended.

The biggest piece for now is how to be safe as your crotch is on fire.