M/s... new to this

M/s... new to this

Switch key​(switch female) • Oct 2, 2019

W/we were both kinky and that along with a natural attraction is what made U/us become more than friends in the first place. my experience in the Lifestyle had always been as a Domme except with bedroom only D/s wherein i did submit to one man before. Since Master and i both identified as Dom/mes, W/we kept power exchange out of our relationship. In retrospect i should have seen that i had a NEED to submit to Him 24/7 in my general daily life. i was always looking for ways to serve Him without even fully realizing it. In the past couple of months He started flirting with D/s innuendos in O/our relationship... things i discovered i LOVED... giving me orders sexually, giving me orders in formal public settings, eating off my plate, giving me that Dom 'look,' sharing some of his power exchange fantasies with me, touching me with a different kind of energy, etc. When i came to Him to discuss this and how i hoped it would become O/our norm, i naturally was thinking D/s since that was what i had done before with my subs in the past. He asked me if i wanted Him to be my Master. He told me if so, then i knew I'd better ask Him permission to be His slave. .... So now it's been a month and it's been amazing. i knew he had been a pro-Dom, but i didn't know He was such an experienced Master! He said it's something He hadn't been able to do in a long time because he hadn't been in the right circumstances with the right person in a long time. Master is taking things really slow with my training and it's driving me crazy. He's already brought me into sub-space twice and it's been beautiful. My dilemma is that ive never been a Lifestyle submissive before, let alone the 24/7 slave that i now am. W/we dont live together but see each other almost every day. W/we communicate daily as I must have His permission to go anywhere that is not part of my daily routine as well as to touch myself sexually in any way. i've expressed to Him that my wish is for Him to determine my finances, appearance, basically everything. He says He does control "everything, at all times." i am so privileged to have Someone i trust enough to be able to have an M/s relationship. He's just moving too slow and i feel like something's missing, like it doesn't all feel real yet. Is this normal in the beginning of an M/s relationship for the slave to feel like it isn't "enough" yet? How do i be the best slave i can be while waiting for my Master to really begin training me?? He says He is still learning me and that W/we are not ready to introduce protocols yet other than no direct eye-contact. i dont want yo be pushy, but it makes me feel lost and incomplete to give myself and my trust over completely and then be standing here waiting for Him to take the reigns. Any advice is appreciated as i am 100% brand new at being a slave and Master deserves the very best because He is the very best. Is my frustration normal?

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this! Sorry it's so long... it's the only way I can give the full picture. Thank you.

Zedland​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2019

Patience.

A good M/s relationship takes a lot of time, communication, understanding, and patience. Simply charging blindly into a realm of total control leads to mistakes, and mistakes problems. His approach of carefully examining all the ways in which you can better serve him and he can effectively control you is the smart one even if it takes a bit longer to unfold. Quality is not rushed.

It also sounds like someone is used to setting the pace and is having a bit of a hard time in fully accepting that it is someone else calling the beat now.

But these are all perfectly normal hangups in the beginning of any new relationship. Hang tough, it seems like everything will work out.

Bunnie • Oct 2, 2019

Hi @ Switch key,

I also struggle with this, and understand your frustration and worries.

@ Zedland covered perfectly anything I could say about it... patience and getting used to not setting the pace was the two main things that popped into my mind as I read your post as well.

Something else that came to mind was a memory of when I studied another language. At first it was very difficult to not translate/want to translate everything back into English inside my head during conversation. This made it so much more difficult, because essentially I was having two conversations. Once I began to learn to trust that I simply knew the language, and stopped trying to figure it all out in my head beforehand, things began to flow more naturally, and I could relax and enjoy conversations a lot more. My point here is that you have your concepts of how an M is and how an s is within a dynamic... trusting that you both know your roles, without trying to “translate” it inside your head, may help to allow you to simply relax into enjoying the flow of things (?)

Having said all of this, we all know the importance of communication, and sharing the things that come up for us along the way... so I would also suggest talking with him about how you’re feeling.

Good luck with your journey together... sounds like you’ve got an amazing experience ahead

CapnRick​(dom male) • Oct 2, 2019

Might be worth reminding that this life is ALL about the journey , not simply racing to the conclusion...
Your Master is savoring the journey. If you relax a bit into the small steps of his leading you day by day, I suspect you will gain infinitely more pleasure from the process, and your journey together...

MasterBear​(other butch) • Oct 2, 2019

Yes, your frustration is normal.
Ypur desire to want to be more or everything is normal.

My first question is- what does He think about your timeline?
He says that he is still learning yourself and it isnt time for certain things.

Is He open to discuss when he willl fell it is time?

Also, and please hear me here: your ability to wait patiently, quietly, respectfully, without need until you are called upon to do differently is crucial to being a slave.

Take the silences as seriously as the requests.

Switch key​(switch female) • Oct 3, 2019

Thank you everyone for your time and advice. I love the great advice all of you have given me. I've gotten a lot out of reading your responses. I will try to relaxe and enjoy the journey. I will honor the silence and wait to be called upon - thanks so much for pointing out the importance of this. I feel like the universe has given me a huge gift and with it I am a little nervous. I'll work toward operating in faith in my relationship and with my Master. I'm glad He is so wise about things.