BabyGirl ka'jer'a(sub female){collared (}
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5 years ago •
Nov 14, 2019
5 years ago •
Nov 14, 2019
@Chris Shawn: with all due respect Sir, up until my current Master, i literally had never had a Master whom i could honestly see myself trusting enough to submit myself to 100% in literally every way possible...frankly, even for someone who has never been abused in any way, shape, or form & never had any kind of traumatic experiences to induce fear/terror deep to their core, it's not natural for anyone to ultimately meet someone, begin a relationship, & automatically feel safe & secure enough to submit to another at that level...and there is a difference, even by definition, between a submissive & a slave...now for me, my current Master is not my first by any means; He is the first whom within a week of being collared to Him i feel secure enough in my own identity & understanding of how he already is with me, that i know as W/we continue to connect & learn more about each other i will not only no longer desire an ability to have my safe words to "fall back on" like a safety net, but contently, consciously, & 100% consensually submit to His every command no matter what ot is with the understanding that He would never intentionally allow harm to come to me...
Of course, as i pointed out in my previous response there are many entering into (more like experimenting in) the bdsm lifestyle without bothering to do their due diligence by researching & studying how it is supposed to work & the history of it in the first place...so there's many who come in as a "newbie" who basically come in with this grand idea of being a "Dom" & being able to order a submissive around to do whatever they want with little to no regard to the submissive's feelings & well-being; or ones with this notion that being a bratty submissive is just another way of saying "well i'm submissive bit i like to misbehave a lot & that should be ok"...
Perhaps, if you would consider that in many ways a submissive can be easily compared to a child (not saying a submissive is a child but bare with me here); a child needs & desires discipline whether they recognize it or not; discipline in itself isn't simply punishment, discipline means "to teach"; it is how parents teach their children right from wrong, acceptable from unacceptable; in the same concept, a dom can & should use discipline to teach their sub/slave what is acceptable vs unacceptable...if a submissive seems particularly bratty, perhaps the issue is deeper than just the sub/slave, perhaps the dom hasn't truly taken the time to use discipline to teach the sub/slave that such behavior is unacceptable & won't be tolerated...at the same time it needs to be understood that jist as with children, the form of discipline which works best with 1 may not work nearly as well with another; so where putting 1 sub in time out may be the best form of discipline for bratty behavior, another sub may learn better from eye contact restriction, speech restriction, orgasm denial, etc...discipline doesn't have to involve whipping/spanking/beating in any way, it can even be something as simple as ignoring the unacceptable behavior...honestly, if the proclaimed sub truly is a sub, something like being ignored or placed in a time out will often be more of a punishment & more effective than whipping them (just saying)...
But the bottom line is that the issue isn't jist about the submissive...if a D/s relationship doesn't seem to be working & the submissive doesn't seem to be behaving the way the dom desires & believe the sub should be, the dom needs to consider his/her role in things too...have you truly made your expectations clearly known from the start? did you take time to basically interview the sub to get to know their personality, corks, desires, experience, etc? have you provided clear consequences to not meeting your expectations? or are you more like the parent who basically lets their child behave however they want, raising the child to be a "free spirit" and then wondering where you went wrong when the child cusses you out, steals something they wanted simply because they wanted it, gets expelled from school for fighting when they decide to beat a kid up for bumping into them in the hallway, or does some other behavior which is considered unacceptable but because the child hasn't been clearly taught that from the start then they don't see any problem?
You see, i have 2 kids, both of which are autistic...if there's anything autistic kids are known for, it's their massive meltdowns that can ultimately occur anywhere...my kids have been taught since before they were ever diagnosed with autism that there's an acceptable way to behave in public & an unacceptable way...they have been taught that if they can't behavior appropriately in the grocery store, then they can't got to the grocery store with me (or anyone for that matter). because this, amongst other concepts concerning acceptable vs unacceptable behavior is something they have been taught since they were very little, total strangers compliment their behavior regularly & often times people are actually shocked when they hear my kids are autistic because "they don't seem autistic" or "they don't look autistic"....well, let's be honest, typically you don't walk into a room full of people & simply know by how a each person looks if they're a submissive or a dominant either; you may be able to observe their behaviors, movements, & interactions to ultimately get an idea which ones are likely more dominant personality or submissive personality, but even then just because one appears to be quite submissive towards one person doesn't truly mean they will be just as submissive with a different person 😉...it can often depend on many factors including, but not limited to, the dynamic in which the "relationship" has been built upon & how truly clear each parties expectations, goals, & potential consequences to not meeting said expectations & goals may be...
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