I am so frustrated with my dom!

mandybell​(sub female) • Jul 28, 2019

Thank you. I probably gave it a bit more time than I should have. Partly because I couldn't get a hold of him most of the time and partly because I really wanted to try and make it work. It wasnt meant to be. He was lovely though. A good person. He just couldn't take on the responsibility of having a sub. And I wasnt going to take it any longer. Thanks for your reply. I really do appreciate it.

mandybell​(sub female) • Jul 28, 2019

Absolutely. I understand being busy. I do 12 hour shifts and have 2 young children. I was still able to make time. So I know there could have been more effort on his part. I need someone attentive. Tha k you again xx

SubBondGirl​(switch female) • Jul 29, 2019

Oh boy, I can relate to you so much. I have only been having an online relationship for a few weeks. It's a non-sexual one. No sexy innuendos which if I'm honest I'm not used to. I dream about him when I'm asleep and last week I felt guilty for having a sexy dream. Oh, man, he punished me severely made me stand in our cyberspace corner for 15 minutes, then another 15 minutes. He then petted me. Stroked my hair etc. I'm quite a needy kitten I need attention always but the last few days when I miss him I wear my kitten tail plug. It's uhmm a big glass one and it hurts something awful but I think it helps the pain diverts me from romantic notions which I blame 50 shades of Grey for. I was reading Martina Cole but she is too real. My Master is always busy so I just ask him if I can sit at his feet as he works. It's not the same nowhere near the same. It works for a short time.

notavanilla • Nov 27, 2019

Life is demanding. Work is part of life and he has stated to you that he still wants you.
OK you miss him but maybe he just has not choice. In many businesses this is the hot time of the year. He may have a little more time for you at some point.
At least he his trying so be easy on him. Sooner of later he is bound to get horny.

notavanilla

Nydomaustin​(dom male) • Nov 28, 2019

Hello mandybell I may be a rather young dominant but I have had quite a bit of experience in online and real life in the years I've been a Dom and I also grew up in the lifestyle. In my experience when someone shows a lack of attention to their submissive it's usually one of three reasons causing it. 1) The Dom has grown bored and just doesn't want someone else to have their sub
2) They found a new sub
3) They actually are busy
Number 3 isn't very common but it happens every once in a while but I can't see someone being consistently busy for 3 weeks. A day or two maybe but 3 weeks of neglecting a sub like you who is obviously very eager and very loyal is a tragedy. Never once have I let my past subs feel neglected. To me BDSM isn't just about the toys and crazy sex,to me it's about a deeper understanding between two (or more) people and the trust that they share. The Submissives trust that they're Dom can push them to new heights of ecstasy and know when to stop. A Dom's trust that they're submissive will behave properly and talk honestly with them no matter the topic.
I hope you find a Dom who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and will take care of you and take you to new heights of pleasure. Feel free to contact me if you ever want to talk. I'm usually around and always looking for new friends

psgsubbyhubby • Nov 28, 2019

Break down the communication barriers. You said that you have an online relationship, maybe he wants more. Even in BDSM relationships, you have to spice things up.

My Mistress/wife and I have been together for over 22 years. I still remember our first year, I had to ask her to cut back on sex because I was getting sore. Over the next 14 years things almost fell apart. She became my Mistress after 15 years of marriage. We are in our 50’s and having wild sex 8-10 times per week.

We talk a lot. You have to be open and honest with each other. She was fairly shy when we met and now she loves being a sadist. Who knew??? Online can only go so far. We lived 187 miles apart when we started dating. I bought us a house half way between and bought her a car to drive an hour to work every day. Things can work out, but you have to talk!!!! This life style is great, but it is still a relationship. You have to trust each other and work through the hard times

I. Seriously confused

sgillgirl • Dec 14, 2019

I meet my daddy dom here it was my very first and omg it was brillant everything fit he was so good and made every effort to let me know how special and how wanted I was to him , I fell ,he had me and we shared so many things after a while he only started to want to sext and anything other he would just end convo he would than apologies and than say he was so busy and working ,I backed off and he was like upset asking if I had real feelings etc I assured him and made every attempt to show him only to be treated as if I was now asking or being too much I only did as he wanted and then nothing for days when I sent him a goodbye message he assured me I had taken his actions wrong and that he was serious and loved me well it happened again and than he started with he needed time but to stay I m not sure what the heck to do he says if I seek another daddy dom than I was fake

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Dec 14, 2019

i have had situations where my life, at specific times, becomes too much for me to be what my subbie needs in the moment. Life can mess with any of us. What I try to do in those situations is lead the conversation about what is going on for me and how it is effecting my Dom mind. Sometimes between life and being the Dom my sub wants and deserves it can be difficult. So I tell her whats going on for me and what I am able to give at that time. My view as a Dom is that once I commit and agree to be your Dom, its my responsibility to make sure my subbie knows where my head is and what i can give in the moment. Although i may be the one struggling with whatever, i still try to remember what she needs from me and always open and honest sharing of feelings and emotions are part of it. I listen to her and know i have to, as someone said, man up, and make sure i am keeping her healthy and secure in the knowledge of how important she is to me, and how she can help me get through what ever it is. If you are feeling the way you described and communicate it to him, then he should find ways to alleviate your concerns and do what he can to keep you feeling safe and secure about your relationship.

Technophilus​(dom male) • Dec 14, 2019

I've had to end a few relationships because I didn't have the appropriate amount of time for the sub, it's hard for both people sometimes. I agree with Soulweaver on making it a formal request, as if he denies that, the dynamic is terminated. It will hurt if it happens, but it will at least bring some measure of closure.

EDIT: I didn't realize there were pages of this discussion, haha, so please excuse my ignorance of any development beyond the first page. I might be a dumbass.

notavanilla • Jan 29, 2020

Thought I would come back to this with a few comments.
Now if you really think about it is that what you had was perfect but ...
The but is really this online relationship. Why did you get into these? A look at your profile shows me a very young looking woman that is attractive. It would be a very big surprise to me if you could not find a real relationship that has elements of contact that exceed that of a phone/computer relationship alone.
Secondly, is that we all have phones and you could get a text or phone call instantly. If you expect a call or text and you don't get it after a few days then your certainly not at the top of the list with your online friend. I sometimes get wrapped up into things but not to that scale when I have a primary person relationship like girlfriend/wife/xxx/ect.. that has physical meetings between you. Straight up, " meet me " should be your response. If you met him then you may know that you have something but without this meeting you have only what he tells you, shows you and everything could be an illusion. Some people have an online relationship because they live in different places but they also have made an effort to meet that other person. You should not let people that you like get away but put your pennies together or get them to and get over to where this person is. You can find discount tickets to get cross country and you don't live USA but a small country. What is wrong with getting to someone in your country personally?
All relationships involve an investment of self. You give something into that time and effort that you spent with that person. You cover your investment with any relationship by understanding who your investing yourself with. Until then you can probe out there for information, ect.. about people and whatever but don't emotionally attach yourself strongly until you meet that person. Pictures don't count but maybe skype but really you want to get arms length from that person to really know if you should strongly invest yourself with that person.
I could say a bit more about this but really these points make sense and I hope somebody can consider this whether it is the OP or really anyone else. All relationships are an investment. Even if it is just somebody you see at the bus stop. If you say hello and they say anything back it is a relationship. In this example case it is simply another bus rider but you invested that 1 second to say hello and maybe the 3 seconds to get a response and that would be enough for a relationship and if you did this often or more than once then that relationship could grow into something or it just may stay as it was 4 seconds after you said hello.

a few thoughts

notavanilla