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Insights on my new agreement

Erick​(sub male)
4 years ago • Dec 28, 2019
Erick​(sub male) • Dec 28, 2019
What a great story. I wonder if it could be true. But never mind that. I like a good story whether it's true or not.

If I were the judge hearing this dispute between you and your lady, I would definitely rule in her favor. Immediately. BANG BANG. (That's the sound of the gavel.) Case closed. I wouldn't even let you finish reciting your pathetic excuses. The Court has no time for such foolishness. She was right to cane you. Except she evidently should have given you about fifty strokes instead of thirty. Maybe that would have taught you a lesson. Don't forget your cell phone again. And she was right to spank you too. You admit she has absolute authority to punish you, and then you complain because it hurts too much. What outrageous insolence. The truth is that she is obviously not spanking you enough. So the Court directs you to write her a 500-word apology, begging her to come back and to give you another spanking, and promising that you are not going to whine like this in the future. And furthermore, the Court itself is going to punish you by directing our stout, no-nonsense, female bailiff to give you a good hard paddling for wasting the taxpayers' money with this frivolous complaint.

That's what I would do. But I'm biased, because my dominant lady--now long gone, unfortunately--never spanked me nearly as much as I deserved. So if your lady really does get fed up with you, just mention my name to her. She and I would get along fine, I'm quite sure.
ambicurious
4 years ago • Dec 28, 2019
ambicurious • Dec 28, 2019
You said " I woke up on her spanking me, so I said stop my ass is sore from last night so she got mad and said that we agreed not to mix our sexual relationship with the discipline part of our relationship".

I am not clear on what she meant about not mixing the sexual and discipline parts of your relationship, and what you did while asleep which triggered the spanking which woke you up.

Why did she spank you while sleeping? How did the issue of mixing sexual and discipline come up after that?
SoaringFree​(sub female)
4 years ago • Dec 28, 2019
SoaringFree​(sub female) • Dec 28, 2019
There is so much information missing that it is actually impossible to give useful advice. With that being said...You two need a more detailed contract and then stick to it. If you end up having issues with said contract, renegotiate. Subs don't have rights to whine about pain if in fact you gave up that right. Otherwise there is always a safe word to identify your limits and any Dom/Domme will honor that. If they don't, you walk.
MasterBear​(other butch)
4 years ago • Dec 29, 2019
MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 29, 2019
Hello.

Ok- lots to address here.
First- I don't use corporal punishment and your story is the reason why. It can lead to feelings of resentment. And may or may not create an emotional release. If it does create an emotional release then quite frankly you have big problems on the horizon.

Secondly- in my opinion, initial stages of a power exchange relationship are based in training. When there is a training there is no punishment. The training. Is crucial for getting to understand both Partners needs. And to be able to talk openly about how everybody feels.
I did not read here, and perhaps I missed it, did you receive any training?


3) You went from being a switch to a power exchange relationship. That is an extreme change. It should have been done slowly. There should have been allowance for transition. There should have been on and off times within the power exchange so that everybody can think about how they feel.


4) I personally disagree with:
physical punishment at all
you being punished for that infarction
No training
The very dangerous assumption that a physical punishment can lead to physical release.



You and she need to take a big step back. You need to go through a training. Where there is no punishment build out because everybody is learning. And you guys need to really emotionally think about what's Happening Here.


Negotiation is not training