Curiosity about DomSpace

Asking a question on a recent blog made me realise that my curiosity runs deeper than wondering solely about that person’s experiences (of course lol), so I find myself here once again, attempting to pick the wonderful brains of our Dominants

I have found for myself that I tend to experience different forms of “subspace” depending on the type of play. Rope tends to elicit quite a different response in me than impact does... so much so that I actually call it “ropespace” because I feel it deserves recognition of its own

As a Dominant or Top or even service Top, have you experienced what you would say are variations in your “DomSpace” depending on the type of play that has occurred?

I know at some point in the scene I will loose all time and space. I don’t know what’s going on around me. It just becomes me and who I’m playing with. I don’t know what’s going on around me. I can only see me and my bottom. I don’t know how much time past till the scene is over. The only thing I hear is my bottom and what ever toy I’m using.

I guess that’s my Domspace.

Yes, I have been in scenes where it became very intense and the willingness to serve or do more from the sub was intoxicating. Some times the connection is so strong it defies words.

Which is why its painful to lose that kind of connection from the Doms side as well.

Can I be lazy and just say what he said! ^^^^

there are for certain activities where I need to know my sub has ME firmly tethered to earth for the sake of safety. For some activities we have rules in place that only one of us is allowed to go into space! We have that rule because it makes me feel safer, knowing he can pull me back at any second, after all I dont want to hurt him because I'm my head space and not thinking as clearly as I should be. I will loose track of time. I loose myself. I often have no memory of what transpired.

Rope will put me close to the edge of Domme space if the submissive is extremely responsive to it. So I will tend to leave those styled set ups to when we poly partners present. Mummification with rope overlays, will push all my buttons but lucky for me they do not send my primary submissive into subspace (however he does enjoy it) so its a great situation for me to enter my dommespace. My sub even though restrained fully knows just how to reach me and snap me out of it. Safewords arent just for the subs, they also work to reground Dommes too!! . I "enjoy" almost everything I do and it does give me pleasure but certain things will make me space.

You touch on something that reminded me @ MissBonnie...

In the group I was in there were some Sadists that played very hard (and masochists that took it)... unbelievable to watch and learn from. Because they knew how hard they liked to play, they would “spot” each other... only within their (Leather family) group though, as they had played together and been together as a family for years, so they knew each other very intimately (in the sense of behaviour etc.), so they could gauge very accurately when was the time to back it off or stop. This stuck with me as being so wise and such a good safety measure, and also allowed them that freedom to be able to let go a bit more than perhaps they would’ve been able to had they not had that trusted person there to help.

I take breaks a lot during scenes more like an intermission between the different activities. That helps both myself and the sub to stay grounded. The longer the scene and more intense the more reason I take breaks. Especially if the sub is deep DEEP into subspace or bondage buzz or endorphin high. I have to stay grounded to prevent problems. But I do admit there are different levels of Dom Space that take experience to recognize and admit its time for a short break. That gives me time for after care of my subs.

I also love how you touch on the importance of the submissive taking some responsibility in it all as well. So important imo.

I really appreciate the responses you’ve all been willing to share. Thank you. It helps so much in helping to create that understanding that we’re all human, and although our experiences may not be the same, we’re all impacted in some way... and that it’s not just about one side or the other... it’s about both.

Particularly in the beginning giving iver to that "domspace" was very frightening to me. It was a loss of control, I felt like it was something I had to fight down. And when I slipped would go into some heavy Dom Drop for that loss of control and potential to harm... None of that happened but the drop still demanded its attention.

Only recently have I allowed myself to go more fully into "space".

The safety ideas earlier would have enabled me to be more free and experience that part of domination earlier.

For ME,

I have found "Dom space" to be juuuuuuuuust on the edge of out of control but never truly.
I have never experienced a "high". Rush? Oh yes! Especially with heavy masochists. Which have brought out the primal I'm me and that is a completely different "space". But that has been rare and truly not something I could maintain on a regular basis either.
I feel I have had different "spaces" for any partner I have played with. Everyone's energy is so unique to them. As an empath I feel all the highs and lows of the s type. Some have found the pain erotic. Some have found it cathartic. Some have found peace. Riding their emotions along with mine is a feat that isn't easily managed and thusly requires most of my attention. Which would probably explain why I don't really go into "space".
Couple that with the reality that a scene for me is more about an emotional connection and living breathing bond building, and I truly am more "hyper focused" or "hyper aware". Which honestly, I suppose could be considered " Dom space" nonetheless.

As far as different "tools" creating a different space within me?
Hmmmmmm.....
I suppose honestly it has.
I am more sensual with wax or a blindfold.
Certainly a different mindset when I use chains or a whip versus a flogger or a dragons tail.
Or maybe it would be more accurate to say a different FEEL. Each creates a different head space if you will that builds a unique feeling I get to walk through.
Always present for me is the "hyper focus" all the same. Like, in moments I could see a fly flapping it's wings. Things are just "clearer" more focused. I can see every nuance, feel every breath. I couldn't be closer to my partner if I tried. In sync and in tune in the extreme.

That's just been my experience to date.
Years ago when I began topping it was a bit lost on me. I was too caught up in my head of "doing it" right (not necessarily a bad thing!) And didn't feel all of that which was happening.
Being the bottom during my training aided me in understanding the other side, but I admit as I have always been dominant I still saw things through my lense and thusly haven't necessarily understood all facets of "space".

By coincidence (?) I came across a short YouTube clip this morning about Taoism, which is something I know very little about and just happened to click on it out of curiosity.

It touched on “hyper focus”... which got me thinking about what they called moments of tapping into the “flow.” The example used was the “zone” that athletes find themselves slipping into during sport, which I found really helped describe the feeling in a way I could understand...

A “place” where time seems to slow, and awareness becomes heightened, senses become sharper... and everything feels as though it flows exactly as it should.

Without warbling on too much about it, it was quite fascinating... and of course I could see the connection to this very topic. This of course was only a small snippet, but thought perhaps it may pertain to this.