Mental awareness

PlyableMs​(sub female) • Feb 21, 2020

I so appreciate someone discussing this topic. It is often one that is not talked about because there is a lot of shame attached.

I have a background in counseling and I’ve done extensive research on the topic of depression specifically. With that said, I think the best help that anyone can give is acceptance. It’s not up to you to try to “make someone better”. Of course, you can offer resources (for example, info on a mental health counselor, an encouraging book), but resist the urge to “fix” the person. S/he may already feel like something is wrong with themselves. Just offer emotional and moral support; a listening ear or a hug, and checking in is always good. Suggestions like exercise or a modest change in eating habits could also help but offer to do it with them so they are not isolated. Also it’s so important to refrain from offering “counsel“ if you are not trained to do so. You can actually do the person more harm than good. Just be a friend.

As far as the community, I agree that playing with someone who is in a bout of depression is unwise. Although the person may be consenting, they may be unable to anticipate how low their low will be after play is over and the high is gone. Just my thoughts. I appreciate the opportunity to share.

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Feb 21, 2020

I don't try to fix people. I gave that up ages ago. I'm certainly willing to listen if someone wants to talk.

However, if they start playing the broken record over and over repeating the same thing without thinking about what they are saying, I'm not going to play catch any longer. That isn't healthy behavior, and I don't want to participate in digging that negative behavior in any further than it already is. I develop an urgent need to use the restroom or head off to the appointment I forgot I had, anything to get away from that behavior and not feed it.

Erick, I'm with You. Many/most of our emotions are manufactured by both the thoughts that we hold close and how we hold our bodies, which includes how we breathe. I learned that from Anthony Robbins. You want to feel depressed? Slouch your shoulders, frown, hold your head down, put your hands in your pockets, scuff your feet and breathe shallowly. You will feel depressed in no time. We all know that recipe even if we don't want to admit it! You want to feel excited? Remember a time that you were excited in your life. How did you hold your body? How were you breathing? Were there quick body movements? Recreate that and you will soon find yourself there. We all have the power to change our emotions.

Is it work? Yes. It is an entirely different way to think about the whole process. It is just as much work to have a negative mindset. I'd rather work toward something more positive. Knowing that I had the power to make those changes has made a huge difference in my life.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 22, 2020

@Erick


With all due respect you are very wrong on all points.

The DSM5 defines mental illness as

"A mental disorder is a syndrome characterized by clinically significant disturbance in an individual's cognition, emotion regulation, or behavior that reflects a dysfunction in the psychological, biological, or developmental processes underlying mental functioning. Mental disorders are usually associated with significant distress in social, occupational, or other important activities. An expectable or culturally approved response to a common stressor or loss, such as the death of a loved one, is not a mental disorder. Socially deviant behavior (e.g., political, religious, or sexual) and conflicts that are primarily between the individual and society are not mental disorders unless the deviance or conflict results from a dysfunction in the individual, as described above."

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 22, 2020

Moreover

@Erick

Here is a great article in understanding brain chemistry and its role in mental illness:


https://www.healthline.com/health/chemical-imbalance-in-the-brain

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 22, 2020

@Erick

Behavioral cognitive therapy has been very successful:


https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/cognitive-behavioral-therapy

sweet november​(sub female) • Feb 22, 2020

When society stops calling it "mental illness" and realizes that the brain is an organ...the most complex organ.... things will get better.

I hate the term "mental illness" it is an organ...it is a physical illness.
However...just as one has diabetes they have the choice to take better care of themselves, listen to professionals, be their own advocate and search out friends that support them.

There is so much unknown about the brain that is not as easy as a pill and smile your way out of it.
It takes work, a non judgemental society, yes...some medications (but should be monitored and aware of all side effects to weigh out the pros and cons).

Many people are ashamed to say that they have depression or anxiety and take medication for it. That's sad. And contributes to the bad thoughts that can arise.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy can help...but if it doesn't...that's ok! Try something else!

exercise, getting out in nature, not being judged, laughter always helps, hugs, social interaction, an animal.

Sometimes learning to forgive yourself for having a day where you just couldn't get out of bed or you had a straight up panic attack (which I would not wish on my worst enemy)...
It's OK.
Self love.

Finding a counselor or therapist that YOU feel comfortable with is important. Learning coping skills, preventative actions...and again....it's ok to have set backs.

It's the brain, the brain is so complex that one day, I feel, that there will be much better treatment for things such as depression and anxiety/panic disorder and many other disorders not mentioned.

So, as a community can we help? Absolutely! Don't judge. Accept.
Don't enable.

Give advice about things that may have helped you but realize that it may not help another person....but it also may help someone else. Just don't give any medical advice...like...stop taking your medicine now. These meds have to be weaned off with a doctor.


Some people can't afford therapy, you can help by calling around for them to see if anyone in the area does some sort of plan for those that can't afford or are without insurance.

You can bring them dinner.
You can invite them out and if they cancel...forgive them...sometimes it is hard to get out.

Go to them. Bring food and watch a funny movie.

Wear a baseball cap bring an extra baseball cap and get them to take a walk (they may not have done their hair).
Especially if it's sunny out!

As a society and community...it's not a mental illness it's a physical illness. The brain is an organ.

And...remember that it's ok to cry. So hug them when they are crying.

Erick​(sub male) • Feb 22, 2020

@Master Bear--

With all due respect, you are the one who is mistaken.

You obviously are completely unfamiliar with the vast amount of scholarly literature critical of the psychiatric enterprise that has been published over the past half century, some of which I made reference to in my posts.

And--moreover--I have to wonder if you even read what you call the "great article" from that for-profit "Healthline" website you directed me to. If you had actually read it, you would have noticed that it says I AM RIGHT that the "brain chemistry" argument has been THOROUGHLY DEBUNKED.

And--moreover--although I made no mention of "cognitive-behavioral therapy," because it has nothing to do with the point I was making, the "Healthline" article that you link to does NOT support your contention that it has been "very successful." The more you lean about CBT, the more you will understand that the claims of its efficacy are not based on solid evidence.

And the more you learn about psychiatry in general, the more you will understand that its overall "success rate" is ABYSMAL.

But by all means, suit yourself and believe that you want. Freud himself admitted the quasi-religious nature of psychotherapy when he said that his treatments didn't work unless the patient BELIEVED that they would work.

simplylaura​(sub female){djinni} • Feb 22, 2020

I am going to attempt to write this reply without ad hominem or the over use of quotation marks, however, I cannot guarantee that will happen. When I witness someone who is a willful contrarian being condescending in a thread about mental health (Not you, Master Bear!), it enrages me because it makes the topic less accessible and makes people less likely to chime in. In fact, I sat here for about an hour debating whether to respond because I know that the ensuing reply will annoy me, but fuck it. I have a voice, I have education, and I have personal experience. I'll throw out my credentials a bit and admit that I have a masters degree in this field, as well as a nationally recognized license, and have published peer reviewed articles regarding this topic, so I know a little bit about what I'm talking about. I could throw out all the big names in research and all the scientific terms I can think of, but frankly none of that matters. People who do this make mental health treatment inaccessible and add to the shame of getting treatment.

First of all, no mental health professional worth their beans throws their hats in one direction. Does brain chemistry play a role? Yes. Does the social environment someone grows up in play a role? Yes. Does trauma play a role? Yes. There are so many factors that play a role in the development of mental health conditions that to water it down to simply brain chemistry or simply trauma does a disservice. Frankly, the days of "analysts" and psychiatrists providing therapy in addition to meds are pretty much over (unless that is specifically what you are looking for). The best practices in this field today is to provide coordinated care, with a social worker, therapist, and psychiatrist working together with any other professionals, family members, and supports that an individual may have. Modern psychiatric and psychological care recognizes that a person is part of a system and an environment (shout out to social work for that research!) and that they are more complex than a simple diagnosis. Unfortunately there are not enough resources to provide this standard of care to everyone (mental health care funding is a whole 'nother post!). Most importantly, we recognize that the individual is the expert in their situation and partner with them to get through crises and work through their self identified issues. Obviously when it comes to severe and persistent mental illnesses things shift a bit, but the person experiencing the mental health issue is always at the center of treatment.

Treatment of mental health issues is much more holistic than it used to be. Meds work (they correct/augment brain chemistry. It's simple as that). But, without looking at the greater social and emotional issues, meds are going to just be a bandaid. This is where a good therapist comes into play. Therapists help to identify what you need to do to help get yourself out of destructive cycles of thought (like knitting and crossword puzzles). Cognitive behavioral therapy (or as we call it and it makes me giggle everytime, CBT) is the gold standard because it teaches you to be aware of the feelings you're having and what to do with them.

Being a professional in this field isn't a matter of wanting to be "the authorities". I don't know a single person who didn't go into one of these fields to help people. I'm certainly not in it for the money or the clout and it's harmful to the field and to treatment to continue a narrative that the helpers are actually pill pushers working for the man. I certainly want people to do what works best for them and have the self awareness to check my ego at the door when working with someone.

Regarding reading source material, by all means do it. But theologians don't just read the Bible, right? You read commentaries and history and exegeses of the original literature. Reading sources like Freud, Jung, Piaget, Adler, etc is important and so is reading commentaries and contemporary research. Websites like Healthline aren't peer-reviewed journals, but they take information from these sources and make them a little more palatable to crowd who may not be as familiar with all the jargon.

All this said... do what is right for you. I always say that BDSM can be *therapeutic* but it is NOT *therapy*. De-stigmatize getting help. Don't spread disinformation. Don't maintain a bootstraps attitude when it comes to mental health. More than anything practice empathy and self-disclosure when possible. I take meds. I go to therapy. I practice self care. I practice D/s and SM. It all contributes to me being my most complete self.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 22, 2020

@Erick

Having been in therapy myself and having worked in psych:

I disagree with you on all points.

Not only are you wrong you are unsafe.

If you want to cherry pick the articles go ahead -- it validates how unsafe you are.

PlyableMs​(sub female) • Feb 22, 2020

i completely agree that CBT has been found to be the most effective treatment as it helps to deconstruct thought patterns that perpetuate feelings and behavior. With that said, there is no one treatment modality that will work with everyone. It’s true @simplylaura that working in the field helps you to understand there is not just one cause. So many factors can play a role in the life of a person dealing with chronic depression.

i think it’s also important to note that a person in a depressive episode is not “just being negative” or having a “pity party”. They are often in a great deal of psychological and sometimes physical pain that they themselves wish they could stop. Having a negative or melancholy personality or outlook is not the same thing as having depression. Recognizing the difference is important.