Online now
Online now

Online training? Seriously?

Literate Lycan​(dom male)
4 years ago • Mar 25, 2020
Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Mar 25, 2020
Good morning all,

I can honestly say I misread what skyrich was initially posting about. I took it to be a bash on anyone seeking or offering online training. In my (and perhaps a few others defense), the way you initially worded your first paragraph it came off as a blast to any online training. After reading your follow on comments, I realize you were targeting those individuals who post and bill themselves as “available to train any sub”. Typically these individuals indicate they have “gobs of experience” and the only “true” dominants or whatever.

There is still much to be learned that can be learned through online education and interaction. And dollMaker pointed out a good number of solid points.

MeekMarionette,

I would initially offer the following as a safety precaution: Anyone offering you free online training cold with no developed relationship is probably not to be trusted - especially for a beginner - so “buyer be ware”. They may mean well, but I’d look at them twice and question why they are offering it from the start.

There are loads of really good blogs and posts from both Dominants and submissives that I would recommend you read through for your education before entering into any training scenario with someone online or in real life. I know a few, both D and s that I read for inspiration and education that I would share with you if you’re interested.

Second, and the biggest safety precaution I can think of, is I’d recommend getting to know whoever you may think can train you through in-depth discussions (read that as email, Bond, phone call, carrier pigeon or any other communication) before ANY training goes on. Think of it as an interview for a very important position in your life. Find out if their kinks and direction are the way you think you want to go. And remember, things change. You will change as you get to know yourself. The hardest part will be once you make an initial connection with someone, keeping yourself at a slower pace so you can take your time to get to know them.

I’d also caution you to discuss up front what you think you’re doing with them. Emotions happen, so if all you are interested in is “training” then make sure you are specific with them. You don’t want them to think “My submissive is this. . .” while all you’re thinking is “My teacher said this . . .” Or even vice versa.

Good luck!
LL
Bunnie
4 years ago • Mar 25, 2020
Bunnie • Mar 25, 2020
@ skyrich,

I have throughly enjoyed reading your responses throughout this thread. It’s disappointing that it seems your point was mostly missed, however your amazing patience I think has helped people to see more clearly what it was you were saying. I especially love your suggestion of doing volunteer work. What better way for someone committed to becoming a submissive beyond how many orgasms they can have, to learn selflessness, humility and service.
Thank you for an enjoyable read. Much respect icon_smile.gif
Also, my condolences for your loss.
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
4 years ago • Mar 25, 2020
Ah, shucks, Bunnie, you'll get me thinkin' yer gettin' soft on me. icon_smile.gif Thank you for your kindness.

Meek,
I second what LiterateLycan has to say. If you are interested in actual submission, rather than play-acting, or sexual gratification, then your best form of training is some actual volunteer work.

I do believe that generic training in an online form lacks much value. Training from a specific Dom, one to whom YOU want to submit can be carried out online. But, the interview is important. Set your boundaries and your expectations, clearly; reexamine them often and reevaluate them from time to time.

My father taught me how to swim by grabbing me by the nape of the neck, and the seat of the pants, and threw me in the water, saying: "Swim or drown!". I don't recommend this approach to swimming, nor to BDSM... nor, come to think of it pretty much anything. icon_smile.gif HOWEVER, I did learn to swim!

I wish you well
Miki​(masochist female)
4 years ago • Mar 26, 2020
Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 26, 2020
Except for tantalizing stories or fantasy scenarios, Online anything-- is a bust for me.

People ask me about KIK (or any variation thereof) and I simply say "Thanks but no thanks".

It may work for some, but online training is not for me. I need the presence of the one who would tame this brat (Me!!) and exact punishment on me when I fail-- because oftentimes, I fail on purpose to get more "discipline"
DrKrall
4 years ago • Mar 27, 2020
DrKrall • Mar 27, 2020
I've been doing sessionbased "bedroom BDSM", extended sessionbased "weekend BDSM" and 247 TPE. I've trained some and i've mentored some, and I don't get it either. I've had some requests (even here) and sure I can mentor someone online since it's mostly giving advice and teaching the person how to think, but I don't se how I could possibly train someone online. I can't train someone to be a pain slut or a perfect sex toy with words or writing. To me that takes a hands on approach. I need to have actual access to their body. Sure I could boss someone around on line. but it wouldn't give me anything. To me BDSM is welts and bruises, pain and tears, getting high on endorfines, spacing, sperm, piss and sweat. These things don't translate easy to mail or chat. I'm not saying my way is the only way. We are all different and there is probably as many definicions on BDSM as there are practicioners, but to me online domination would be like jerking off to a pornmovie compared to do the actual fucking myself.

Maybe I'm just to old to understand the new information technologies. Didn't mean to offend anyone. Sorry if I did.
CheekiCheshire​(sub female){Collared}
4 years ago • Apr 1, 2020
Greendrogan wrote:
I even asked one how she was going to give me a spanking from long distance and she said that I was to do it to myself and then send her pictures of the resulting reddened bottom.


Exactly why my profiles say "I am a hands-on project". If you cant put your hands on me, in pleasure or pain or for correction, what exactly is the point?
DrKrall
4 years ago • Apr 2, 2020
DrKrall • Apr 2, 2020
CheekiCheshire wrote:
Greendrogan wrote:
I even asked one how she was going to give me a spanking from long distance and she said that I was to do it to myself and then send her pictures of the resulting reddened bottom.


Exactly why my profiles say "I am a hands-on project". If you cant put your hands on me, in pleasure or pain or for correction, what exactly is the point?


Imagine if bankrobbers took on the same aproach.
If they called the bank and told them "Stick it up! This is an online robbery!"
- "Ok, so how do we do it?"
- "Pull a gun on yourself, put all the money in a sack, and then mail it to me. And don't try to be a hero, or you'll have to shoot yourself!"