The Struggles of a male submissive

Knightsundere​(sub male) • May 2, 2020

You're right, I shouldn't laugh at others, but it's just so fuckin funny lmao. Like someone walking up to a hotdog vendor and asking if they still sell hotdogs.

Stranger • May 2, 2020

U must be blind or something?

Stranger • May 2, 2020

Yes ...i do that... If its the first time.... Its to confirm .... Nothing wrong with that. Two things can happen...they say yes...and u get uraelf a hotdog...or they say no and u dont... life goes on...

ManWithoutLabels • May 2, 2020

Gentlemen, enough arguing...

Stranger • May 2, 2020

It would be rude if someone is selling hotdogs and laugh at someone who approaches them with the intention to get some and they laugh or reject only becuz the person didnt specify what they wanted or say no i sell bread with meat in it ...

SirLadyBear​(sadist femme) • May 3, 2020

My suggestions are:

1) be prepared to meet up at a munch or coffee shop. I dont trust people who dont want to engage with me first in a vanilla setting.

Lots of women (myself included) use this as to minimize the inherent danger of meeting up with someone you dont know.

2) Don't make your messages all about what you want the Domme to do to you. I have an inbox filled with unsolicited narritives of what random men want me to do with/to them for "my pleasure".

It's not my pleasure, its your pleasure. Don't use us as tools to fulfill your fantasy. We are people, talk to us, not at us.

3) your profile picture should not be your penis. No seriously, find something else. Anything else, Hell show me your NES game collection and i'll give you morre time of day than someone rocking a dick pic.

4) Be honest. Don't lie about your inexperience or experience and interests.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • May 3, 2020

i think these are some more great points to add to the discussion and offer this sub's thoughts about them:

1. Meeting up in a vanilla setting helps quiet the hormones a wee bit and add some balance. While there are relationships that are all about sex, i think sex isn't just physical and a neutral setting helps make space for discussion of the cognitive/emotional/psychological side of the potential relationship. Plus, i have NEVER met someone online where they and the dynamic was not different face to face (i'm confident the same is true for those people). i would add that i believe both parties benefit from "...minimiz[ing] the inherent danger of meeting up with someone you don't know."

2. i think profiles are for explaining ones kinks/needs/desires. Of course, that cannot be exhaustive, it's only a verbal snap shot of the writer. To me, contacting someone is about responding to something they have said in a post or their profile... but it is a response to them, not a solicitation? i make a distinction between a hook up site and a relationship site though, so i get that this is me. i believe there is a need to articulate ones needs/desires to assess compatability, but it needs to be balanced. in my experience, this is a tough one. i'd say easily 85% of the guys i've met online either do not know how to articulate who they are and what their needs/wants are, or they are afraid to be open/vulnerable. i suspect that dynamic is different with MM than FM, regardless of the D/s aspect? As a guy, i want to know the details of a guys desires/needs/kinks to determine chemistry, but if He shows no signs of having read my profile or interest in my desires/needs/kinks, i don't have much confidence in relationship potential. To me, the person who initiates contact needs to show balance of inquiry about the other person, or response to something they have said, and include something about their self that may be relevant to their observation/perceptions of the person they are contacting.

3.lol, Dick pics. Sigh. i like them, but i'm a guy and it seems guys are more inclined to like/want that? i would like to see a face pic in the mix though... and hopefully one that is an accurate representation of who the person is.

4. Honesty. Yes please, it's a major turn on for me. "Honest" to me is open and vulnerable, it's a show of courage and maturity in my book. Not that i think one should put it all out there at once, but if you are trying to catch someone, use real live bait vs a plastic lure. Dishonesty always comes back and bites one.

Ingénue{VK} • May 3, 2020

You've been on the site for 3 years. You can't block or control your settings, presumably. Have male subs in general asked to hear your gripes? I'd maybe respect such approach on a 1-1 basis. Lecturing on forum is whingey, boring and changes nothing.

Sinity​(dom female) • May 3, 2020

I can easily block people all day. I would rather help them on their search because I am not selfish, because I want to better the community. Just because you cannot see the value in that doesn't mean I care about how you respect it.

I do not respect your flippant dismissal of help offered to someone else.

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • May 4, 2020

Talk interests first and have a first meet centred about that.

Leave your. Kink list on your profile and the Dominant will raise the subject when she chooses.

I only talk to slave or Submissive men who do that. Simple.

My rule is no BDSM play for 6 months (pre Corona virus) until we know each other over several evenings out chatting and it remains so.

Mistress Whipplash Ma'am