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Wantstolearnmore​(switch female)
4 years ago • May 13, 2020

New to this

I have some BDSM experience but would like to learn more. Do sub/dom have relationships? Can the couple be married? Can they only have sub/dom in the bedroom? Are there always contracts?

What is light bondage? What are some of the acronyms used?
ardlr​(dom female)
4 years ago • May 13, 2020
ardlr​(dom female) • May 13, 2020
a dom/sub relationship is/can be anything you and your partner agree on (since everyone has different limits).
Mama Bear JJ​(dom female){koa}
4 years ago • May 13, 2020
Relationships: Yes. Some don't, some do, some evolve into one over time. Preferences, both short and long term, should be stated up front.

Marriage: Yes. I know and have seen lots of married couples on here.

Only in the Bedroom: No ... but, I believe there are varying degrees to how much the D/s dynamic comes into play outside of the bedroom. For some it is a full-time thing, while for others it may only come into play when necessary, pre-defined times, or when desired. Regardless of the degree to which it does, there are always going to be aspects of the D/s dynamic that are present at all times ... the responsibilities, the rules, the respect, the roles themselves (subs aren't going to act dominate with their partner just because they are outside of the bedroom and vice versa).

Contracts: No ... but they are a good starting point. They are a good way to clearly establish wants, needs, boundaries, and expectations (all relationships, whether in or out of the D/s dynamic could probably benefit from this). It can also be a good way to ask those questions if you are a sub that is too shy or nervous to bring them up ... it becomes part of the process instead of questions you have to ask to know. As a side note ... even though I believe contracts are a good starting point, I also believe that a relationship can evolve beyond the point of needing one.

Light Bondage: The things I would include on this list are (1) verbal restraint, establishing rules/orders about movement with consequences; (2) physical restraint that uses implements that are softer in nature or that a sub has the ability to remove on own if that becomes necessary; (3) blindfolds; (4) headphones/ear plugs; (5) other forms of sensory deprivation.

Acronyms: .... too many to get into (as usual, my post is already too long and gives far more information that necessary lol)
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skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
4 years ago • May 13, 2020
My blog post "Some Definitions" might be helpful with some of the acronyms.

As is usually the case in such things... just ask. Post a few acronyms you aren't familiar with and we'll answer. No worries.

As to you questions:

1) D/s is by definition a relationship between two or more people. Whether in remains online only or moves into the "Real World" is another matter.

2) I have married my subs. See "The Journey" in my blog for more information about that.

3) For me, it's NEVER just in the bedroom. In fact, it doesn't even start there.

4) Light bondage has been well covered. Soft instead of metal cuffs for example. Mental bondage, as opposed to physical bondage. Spanking by hand, instead of whip/flogger, etc.

5) I've never had a contract, and never will. I find it to be a silly, and unenforceable artifice.
AllOfMe​(sub female)
4 years ago • May 15, 2020
AllOfMe​(sub female) • May 15, 2020
The more I read the blogs here on the cage the more I learn as well thank you for that information , it was very insightful 🙂🙂...