LaVieEnRose(sub female){Kintsugi}
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4 years ago •
May 27, 2020
Don’t change who you are!! As you can see there are Doms who are more than happy to put up with a brat and some who maybe don’t necessarily like brats as a general group but may find they like one particular brat which is what is important.
SBD has some great blogs about brats and definitely encourage reading them. I tried suppressing that aspect of my personality for Doms I had spoken to in the past and it didn’t end well for me because it wasn’t me and it did take some realisation that I can’t change who I am to suit someone else no matter how hard I try. It won’t be easy and you may search for some time to find the right one but when you do it will be worth the journey! Xx🥀 |
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Online now
bunnyowl(sub female)
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4 years ago •
May 27, 2020
Azzabackam wrote: I can't speak for anyone else, but I've never been intimidated by brattiness. It's a give and take. It's playful. Honestly, Ii think a non-bratty sub is kinda boring.
I think a lot of Doms that are turned off by it are expecting more of a servant than a partner. They want it to be like a vanilla relationship, but easy because "Oh, she's supposed to do everything I say? Awesome!" Again, can't speak for anyone else, but that's the tendency I've observed, especially in Doms new to the lifestyle. There is a difference between being dominant and domineering. A Dom can have control without needing g a slave or to be emotionally abusive. It is all about education. And definitions. Are you a brat all of the time or depending upon the situation? Most importantly, as an alpha sub bg, I can say I have struggled to recognize that my needs vary when my life circumstances vary - I can grow and evolve because I am a human being. Never change for someone else or due to loneliness. And, never just say yes, okay, etc if you don't mean it. As a 'fired sub, I realized I never set my boundaries to begin with because I didn't know them. Now, I am taking the time to learn what works and what doesn't. Your Dom should be doing the same. No one stays the same forever. |
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bunnyowl(sub female)
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4 years ago •
May 27, 2020
MatureDom wrote: I am learning that it's about educating yourself as Dom, to understand your role and who your sub is, learn how to handle all situation, most important, learn what type of Dom I am and what type of sub I would have the best relationship with that will work for all. Educate, Educate, Educate... Just my two cents, hope it helps. I agree. As a sub, it's about educating myself and having a Dom willing to educate himself. I need to learn who I am, who I could be and that its okay to grow and try. |
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FloraDragon(dom male){Roaming Wi}
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4 years ago •
May 27, 2020
You are what you are, do not change yourself into a falsehood, you will lose what you naturally are. In fact you will then be living a lie, lies tend to be caught out, in addition you will not meeting that craving you have and that inner brat will not be sated - looking from the outside I would be worried about you not getting what you needed from the relationship.
None of us are perfect, we are constantly learning through our lives. Developing your relationships through patience, pushing here and there perhaps at some time you will find a Dom that you can educate and improve their understanding, or find a ready made Dom who can meet your needs. I wish you all the best on your journey. |
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NaughtyEm(sub female){Under cons}
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4 years ago •
May 27, 2020
bunnyowl wrote: Azzabackam wrote: I can't speak for anyone else, but I've never been intimidated by brattiness. It's a give and take. It's playful. Honestly, Ii think a non-bratty sub is kinda boring.
I think a lot of Doms that are turned off by it are expecting more of a servant than a partner. They want it to be like a vanilla relationship, but easy because "Oh, she's supposed to do everything I say? Awesome!" Again, can't speak for anyone else, but that's the tendency I've observed, especially in Doms new to the lifestyle. There is a difference between being dominant and domineering. A Dom can have control without needing g a slave or to be emotionally abusive. It is all about education. And definitions. Are you a brat all of the time or depending upon the situation? Most importantly, as an alpha sub bg, I can say I have struggled to recognize that my needs vary when my life circumstances vary - I can grow and evolve because I am a human being. Never change for someone else or due to loneliness. And, never just say yes, okay, etc if you don't mean it. As a 'fired sub, I realized I never set my boundaries to begin with because I didn't know them. Now, I am taking the time to learn what works and what doesn't. Your Dom should be doing the same. No one stays the same forever. No definitely not a brat at all times, only when I feel that I could push someone, without hurting them/their feelings. If I feel it’s pushing them too much, I would stop. I’m very much a caring person but like to test the waters. I could say I’m probably more mischievous than bratty. Sorry not making too much sense as on,y had 4 hours sleep. |
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AllOfMe(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Jun 2, 2020
I'm not sure how you could even change that about yourself for me it's a part of who iam I don't try to be it natrualy just comes out at times ( not often ) I don't do it on purpose or for attention but my brattyness does show itself sometimes 😔😔🤭🤭.... Always be your true self ...... ❤️❤️
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LuceeLu
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4 years ago •
Jun 2, 2020
Please don’t change who you are to accommodate someone else.
I’ve discovered different Doms bring out different sides of me. I’ve only ever behaved like a brat with one. One of my friends would argue that perhaps that Dom (My Daddy) brings out the true sub in me. In fact, in regular friendly conversation with my then guide, confidant, friend, shoulder, etc. I asked him what his sub would call him. He told me Master or Sir...and I immediately said, “Okay...Daddy.” I believe I’ll know when it’s okay to push him and when not to. He wants MY obedience and MY submission, the common thread being ME. Plus since he’s the one who brings out the brat in me, it only seems fitting that he be the one to tame and control her. Stay true to you. 🤎 |
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| MalakaiY(dom male) |
4 years ago •
Jun 2, 2020
The whole point of this forum and this lifestyle is to live the way that makes you most happy, isn't it?
If so, changing yourself to fit someone else's view wouldn't really make sense. It's hard to know why you are struggling to find a dom, without more information A good first step though is to know what kind of sub you are, and what kind of dom you are looking for. |
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cherrypetals(sub female){looking}
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4 years ago •
Jun 2, 2020
Re: Brats
To be honest I am 100% brat and I know I don't bend well with doms that wants complete obedience without actually working for it
I won't change myself and you shouldn't either The right dom will accept you for you and will learn how to manage the moments you are in brat mode |
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MasterBear(other butch)
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4 years ago •
Jun 2, 2020
1) in NO WAY should you change.
2) be upfront about being a brat 3) negotiate what brat MEANS to both of you I don't deal with brats. I have no interest. I have however seen people go as the identity of a brat , and use it as a way to undermine the relationship. There are plenty put there that love brats and consider them great fun. |
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