Affectionate humiliation

Affectionate humiliation

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 8, 2020

i recently had a sort of epiphany about my desire/need for what i have come to call "affectionate humiliation." It's a powerful 'collar' for me. As i am wired, there is no turn on or connection if a Top is being rough, bullying, superior, mean, etc., trying to humiliate me in a hurtful way.

What i've realized is, what i call "affectionate," is in part my seeing a need or desire in my Dom/Top for the thing He is targeting. E.g., i have had Tops who did or said things to feminize me where it was obviously something they wanted/needed in me, but at the same time, it was something they either saw in me or managed to expose. The other part of "affection" was that Their need/desire was affirming for me. i think that is where the deep arousal in me may come from?
i think the "humiliation' part comes from being conditioned by culture, etc., to feel shame about those parts of me that i've subsequently buried, sometimes so deeply i'm not aware of them. Those end up being profound power/control points when a Top/Dom latches on and influences them.

The overall effect is to simultaneously be deeply aroused, affirmed and 'humiliated,' but the humilliation is not from the Top/Dom, it is some part of me being exposed (and affirmed) by His "affectionate" need/desire for those things in me.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 8, 2020

TSG,

I'm not into humiliation so I don't really understand what you are trying to convey. Can you give me some examples as to what you mean?

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 8, 2020

i had an experience with a Dom who gave me a task and was continually talking to me throughout. He was practically gushing exclaiming "good boy!!!" when i did the task as He liked. He said how proud He was of me, and asked me "aren't you proud?"

i was in an awkward position and not readily able to answer. i have never thought of myself as a "boy." He was so real and convincing in His attitude and praise and i found myself feeling exactly like a "good boy" and i was indeed proud and so pleased that He was pleased. It was like He either regressed me to being a boy, or He identified something in me i didn't know was there. He not only brought that "boy" to the surface, but He was excited and pleased with that boy, loving and affirming. i blushed and felt embarrassed and a sort of humiliation at feeling like a boy wanting to please Him, being so happy when He was pleased, and proud of myself when He was proud. The feelings i felt were simultaneously aroused (the "task" was sexual), humilatied and affirmed/love. i also felt adoration for Him.
Does that help explain?

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 8, 2020

It does...!

He helped you discover your "Little" side!

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jun 8, 2020

Hmmm, really? Is that what "little" is?

i am not cognitively "humiliated/embarassed" (well maybe a bit?) but i am emotionally, and i attribute that to conditioning? To the point i don't see myself advertising it. On the other hand, it was such a profound and layered experience. For instance, i needed His desire/need for that in me to experience the arousal and thrill. Thinking of myself as a "boy" doesn't evoke that in me, it's almost like i needed Him to be that way, in relation to HIm. It really blew me away, i didn't know it was there.
There are fem things that have similar effect, that i'm more aware of because they too have been evoked, but again, they only surface with a Guy who seems to know what He is doing. It's pretty magical for me, it's why i know this stuff is real and i sort of eschew role play out of respect to it and the D/s process... which may seem weird to some, just where i am at.

SirsBabyDoll​(sub female){Pizza+☕} • Jun 8, 2020

There are degrees of littles...I don't know if there are male oriented equivilents (someone with WAY MORE experience will have to answer) but in women, there is a "Babygirl", those who love the age regression feeling (the cuddling, lap sitting, petting, daddy behaviors...) and there are what I call "true Little's", the ones who color, use sippy cups, princess parties, ECT. Oh, and the stuffies ..can't forget them (the stuffie army would kill me).

It touches that place inside where you can be happily vulnerable. Where daddy was the center of your world, your hero, and nothing could hurt you.