Verbal humiliation

Dueces​(neither female) • Dec 31, 2017

For the best.
This is not a matter of winning an argument on a computer over a word or raising rarities when these rarities are infact covered by the word.
This is BDSM and its activities require clear guidelines to be safe.
Its terminology and processes are not subjective and have not been created in the last six months.
This has been an entity formed since the early 80s and when it comes to practising these words by correct definition it adheres to SSC and RACK.
The issue of things being subjective or people not understanding the terminology and the safety of BDSM is essentially where the problems begin.

Good luck with your BDSM development, sessions, and relationships.

V.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Dec 31, 2017

"Correct definition" my ass. Everyone assigns their OWN definition. In their OWN relationships. Even sub and slave can have different meanings. As can aftercare, despite what you claim. It doesn't make it "wrong" just because it's a different viewpoint. Or even if it's a minor one, which you fail to understand. This is the whole reason people get into different relationships. Due to "subjective". You can't just do one size fits all when it comes to any category in or out of BDSM. The only problem is in people being pig headed and thinking another persons truth contradicts with yours when it does not. Both can be true. But not if you try to force your "truth" on others. So to hell with this. I'm done. The only reason I'm back is because you continued the conversation and I couldn't help myself after seeing this. But that will soon be addressed.

Your continued lectures and knowing better attitude without even considering the viewpoints of others have caused me to put you on block. The only person in any forum for a long, long time. Goodbye and good riddance.

SubDraco​(sub male)​{Caged} • Dec 31, 2017

wow... this isnt the only thread where he lost his shit and did walls of spam...

Dueces​(neither female) • Dec 31, 2017

To even bother commenting on the above is a waste of energy.

For the purpose of those reading this, please be aware that BDSM and terminology and activities are not 'subjective' and all done to the rhythm of your own drum. Abuse is abuse, Aftercare is Aftercare, safely whipping is safely whipping and having knowledge is called having knowledge.

Because this (for lack of a better word), inexperienced individual claims it to be ignorance or inability to see an expansive range of different viewpoints or feelings about subjects, does not mean that it all fits under the umbrella of still having a protocol and expectations within the Lifestyle.

It is imperative to be learned, to research, to perform safely, to not try to make up your own definitions or argue a point because you dont like the word.
It is not about YOU, it is about the community, and keeping it going without having a bunch of morons running about saying well i abused you because it was my subjective viewpoint that aftercare isnt the type of aftercare that you think it should be.

That kind of thinking can be extremely dangerous.

And sorry, but because someone thinks flogging an endless spout of words in the hopes to prevail as being right is going to work, not happening.

He also then came into the lobby to passively aggressively seek approval for his forum posts and continue the debate there, endangering a multitude of new Lifestylers and acting like a 3year old.

If this does not speak volumes, then i do not know what does.

Apologies for this forum being taken up with back and forth crap, none of which was any benefit to the original question.

And Draconyx i can certainly tend to see his ability to do so if it is any example of what has been displayed here.

V.

Confused too

outsideleft​(other male) • Dec 31, 2017

I too, love feeling humiliated by my Domme - I don't, though like being ridiculed or abused.

For example, I know I'm not an idiot - being called one affects me - gives me the sense of being disliked by my Domme - being humiliated and being disliked are two very different things for me.

As has already been outlined, some language has fairly known meanings.


I cannot abide those I consider idiotic - stupid - worthless...etc...

Being humiliated - being called 'boy - little fellow ' Being commanded, in public, with the intention of others hearing - is humiliating and wonderful - such forms of humiliation draw me closer to my Domme - I feel she knows the effects on me and, to my joyous discomfort, we can both enjoy these occasions.

However, being called names that I associate with in a dislikable fashion, have me feeling pushed away from, disliked by, disrespected and unwanted by my Domme.


I guess there is a relativity in what language 'I' feel humiliated by and what language 'I' feel abused by - such terms are likely different for everyone.


My preference in kink is to serve my Domme and in so doing, feel ever closer to Her - if She does not like me and Her language indicates this, there is a problem here for me - I don't want to serve anyone who dislikes or disrespects me - and as has been outlined already - we show our feelings and attitudes to others by our actions - physical and verbal.

There are many types of pain I am willing and happy to experience for one who cares for me, likes me and respects me as their submissive.


There are significant differences, for me, between pain and damage - the pain I am happy to experience is not damaging - abuse is damaging no matter anything else as damage is part of the reason certain things are labelled abusive.


I am not willing to be damaged by a Domme who cares about me, let alone one who does not.


Humiliation, then, is an action conducted by consent, is safe and involves caring from both sides of the D/s divide - I love it, for many reasons, but mainly because it causes me to feel closer to my Domme, as she knows I love Her doing this to me, she knows I am willing to accept this because She likes it and I want to do things She likes too - so it is a win - win - invariably, we both feel more attached in win-win scenarios.