Heart of Persephone(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 13, 2020
Finding my submission through my growth and have struggles a
I’ve been in a deep personal growth since May, learning who I am. I’ve learned some rather good things and some not so good things, which is needed( as the theme song goes “ya take the good ya take the bad, and there ya have the facts of life”) . But I’m learning about my submission. I know what I like and what my desires are. I’m a submissive with a need to serve. I’ve been coming to realization that I like some pain. I love being called names and other things he would do to me. But at times I will be reserved even when I want to express so badly. The chemistry is there and yearn for him is so great.
My question is why do I reserve myself? I feel completely safe and secure with him. I know some of it’s my past. But I hate it so much, and it frustrates me to no end. Because it strains . |
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Zedland(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 13, 2020
You are going against several years of learned behavior, that you should not voice such desires. Given how vanilla you had been you might even be fighting having these desires at all. That is no small thing.
Ease into things one little step at a time. And recognize it is a journey not instantaneous transport. You will get more comfortable voicing your desires so don't let frustrations blunt your forward progress. |
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Heart of Persephone(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Aug 13, 2020
No not several, but MANY years of learned behaviors. It was hell not knowing for so long. So many tears are cried, getting to where I am.
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Zedland(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 13, 2020
And there will be a few more. However they will lessen as will the blocks between you and happiness. As with the tides and the rocks you must simply keep working at it.
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KnottyBunny
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4 years ago •
Aug 13, 2020
In my journey through submission I have realized that some things said, or done or even smells or sounds can trigger me into being reserved, sometimes even anxiety. With this journey I have taken notes and continue to try to find solutions to curb these feelings and make my partner aware of my triggers so they can be aware and hopefully the triggers can be avoided.
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