TNS(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Aug 11, 2020
Here are my answers:
1. Is it normal for the Dom to continue to bring it up? Even send photos of a collar they both like but then say the Dom is not getting it because the sub can't be collared? Normal NO does it happen yes. the Dom is Hurt. they maybe lashing out or trying to swoon the sub back. Cant be collared? i am unsure of what you mean. either they don't want to submit or they need more vetting and training to make sure its a good fit. 2. Is it OK for the Dom to continue to bring it up after the sub has already taken physical punishment for it? they need to heal. Is this the mental punishment? NO it should be that and DOne HOWEVER we are human we feel things the Dom is most likely HURT. unsure of the dynamic 3. For subs only: Would this behavior make you feel you werent good enough for that Dom, ever? Would it discourage you or would it be a challenge to you? I am a Dom but can answer this as well yes it i would feel like a failure it would crush me not push me. 4. For Doms only: What do you see as the teaching factor in this situation or is this a mind game? I am unsure it sounds like the dom was all in and the sub was not for w/e reason. 5. Subs only: Run or continue the dynamic and try to better yourself? RUN Thank you all! |
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SweetSirRendering(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 3, 2020
AriesGoddess wrote: his name on here is konvikdomination. Watch out for him. He uses the lifestyle to hide behind. He is an abuser.
was the color you bought the one he was taunting you with? in that case, i can see why you felt empowered to buy it for yourself. |
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Mark nw london uk(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 3, 2020
Re: Question for Dom or Sub, would like both perspectives AriesGoddess wrote: Background Story:
Sub is new to the LS and within 2 months gets collared while they are both drunk and wasted. (IMHO bad idea already). Sometime in that same evening, the sub kneels and asks for the collar to be removed (maybe she just wasn't ready and didn't understand fully), but she doesn't remember any of this because she was blacked out. With all of this in mind I want you to know that everything has been discussed and it was clarified that the slate was wiped clean. Asking for a friend.... ------------ --- the dom is at fault. a. behaving like a spoiled child. b. the collar is void. no 'time of consideration' - dom at fault . c. no consent = drunk. - dom should know what he's doing. dom at fault again. d. sub is new. has no real idea. see .b.c.a e. mind games NOT allowed. see.c.d. no one in there right mind should consider mind games. LS is about trust! see.a f. any contract/agreement is void. see.c.b.d morally we are meant to be in control. not a drunk taking advantage of a newb. legally...he's fkd up. apologies for the rant, this sort of thing pisses me off. --------------------------------------- Thank you all! |
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Redmage(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 4, 2020
Answers from a Dom.
There are several issues here. None of what was asserted conforms to proper D/s practices.
First, submission can only occur by clear un-coerced will of the submissive. The submissive may at anytime remove the symbol of bondage, the collar. The sub can only remove the collar and cannot place it. The Dom can only place the collar but cannot remove it. In thus way the balance of Domination/submission is maintained. At no time is force of will by one participant nor the other able to entrap either participant. All most anyone who was associated with this situation bares guilt for their failures to maintain order and the trauma both emotional and physical that this submissive has endured. This incident as described is shameful and is a black stain on our way of life. The proper action by the Dom should have been to refuse to collar the submissive considering her compromised state. Any person who does not do this is not a Dom and should never be referred to as such. I will not even reflect on the subsequent behavior by this poser who hasn't the tools or mental facility to even achive Dominance. Those who evaluated the situation incorrectly also bare responsibility. Just my perspective. My apologies if I didn't address each question, I think I have made clear the issues with this situation. J.M.Rott (Dom) |
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| hank submissive male(sub male) |
4 years ago •
Sep 5, 2020
I would run because you cannot be thinking clearly enough to make such an important decision should not be made in one night however that being said would continue to chat but not play together or be physically intimate and see if there is really a foundation for a good D/s dynamic especially if this was a one night thing . If you have been communicating for some time you still need to have a clear head to be able to make an informed decision and an important decision .
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BigBubbles
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4 years ago •
Sep 5, 2020
One word: run.
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Burning Phoenix(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 5, 2020
I can only say this one way, f@ck that, its abuse. Leave.
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emeX(sub male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 5, 2020
Personally, i don't see much wrong with this situation other than 'being collared while intoxicated'. The act of collaring should be done with clear minds. It's a serious commitment. And how serious can W/we get drunk. Not very serious.
The punishments/mind games that followed, i don't have a problem with. If my Domme sees it necessary to punish my actions (or lack thereof), it's within Her right to do - for as long a period as She decides to do so. After all, i have chosen Her to be my Domme. Which ultimately means, i trust in Her decision making completely. Including, but not limited to, allowing Her to decide what's best for me, and what's best for O/our evolution. With that said, IF i feel Her treatment is beyond my limits, i will first ask permission to speak on it, then address my concerns. At that point, if W/we cannot agree to a common ground, i have option A. ask to be dismissed or B. stfu and carry on. Personally, i'll always air on the side of fixing a problem, rather than running from it. Thank You. |
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kajirasubm{On Hiatus }
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4 years ago •
Sep 5, 2020
It's not the 5 questions which need to be addressed.
The bigger question is: Why did they both feel the need to become so inebriated that they both were " wasted "? That is the unspoken question that has all the answers. That two in a dynamic would choose a state like that over being self aware and sober. It appears that neither was in control. Certainly not of themselves if it reached the point of " wasted ." I don't know the ages - I would imagine that both are legal adults. This spirals to: Why would a submissive be that destructive to herself physically? Wouldn't she want to be at her very best for herself and her Dominant? How could a Dominant allow himself to be that out of control of a situation? And Why did he tolerate his submissive reaching that point? It's not one side nor the other. Sadly, it's both. A relationship like this - if you want to even call it that- is headed toward a not good place. It's a kerosene/gasoline to put out a wildfire. It will end badly with one or both getting hurt. Very sad indeed. |
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MariGold
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4 years ago •
Sep 21, 2020
RUN!!!
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