| ASensualDom |
4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
I don't think it's possible or healthy / safe to have a Ds, or any relationship for that matter, if it's only physical / sexual.
Extremely unfulfilling to me. |
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Online now
| hank submissive male(sub male) |
4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
You are correct ASensualDom if the relationship is based on sex and not true feelings it is destined to fail
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hopefulbabygirl(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
I definitely lean more towards being demisexual so I completely agree with your POV.
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
ASensualDom wrote: I don't think it's possible or healthy / safe to have a Ds, or any relationship for that matter, if it's only physical / sexual.
Extremely unfulfilling to me. How so? I mean, personally "It's about the Sex" But others have varying degrees of expectations and wishes, and they, too, need to be heard. Not all "expectations and wishes" are reasonable in today's world, but are ALWAYS worth hearing. |
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shahh
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4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
ASensualDom wrote: I don't think it's possible or healthy / safe to have a Ds, or any relationship for that matter, if it's only physical / sexual.
Extremely unfulfilling to me. If each party is open and honest about it, why not?? Not everyone is built to delve deep. I personally need all the feels but to say something isnt possible or is unhealthy because you can't do it is a bit too judgemental don't you think? Doesn't float your feelings boat? No problem. Might float someone else's though. Float away people hehe |
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 9, 2020
I personally do not rate a relationship on a P/F scale.
If it lasts but a week or a month, if I have pleased my partner, it is "success". But that's just me. I don't do "long term" Other expectations May Vary. My best times were with guys who i knew for but 2 weeks but we were happy while together and moved on. |
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Tthomas
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4 years ago •
Sep 11, 2020
Miki wrote: Never thought about feelings.. From my perspective as a Maso girl I just want to be used and abused. Not speaking at all for other masochists, just me. None of my lovers bothered to think of feelings, it was all about the experience.
If one looks for feelings, it's best to ask about that topic before hitting the sheets. Hey Miki Looking for more clarification......... When you speak of lovers are you talking hookups? FWB? I think those two are completely different than a long term D/s relationship. To have the first two feelings do not have to enter the picture at all for it to be fun and pleasurable. IMHO to have a long term D/s relationship feelings better be at the forefront, if not there might be a lot of pain in it for someone. The lack of feelings goes hand in hand with a lack of caring. I think for most people feelings are what this lifestyle is about. |
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littleMagpie(sub female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 11, 2020
I think you can do either.
But I don’t think you’ll experience it the same way if you cut your feelings out of it. Bdsm is part of our relationship, but we have a whole heap outside of that too. I can imagine playing with someone else easily enough, but I can’t imagine hitting subspace as deeply, or having the same trust and ability to let go, with anyone but him. |
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Miki(masochist female)
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4 years ago •
Sep 11, 2020
Tthomas wrote: Miki wrote: Never thought about feelings.. From my perspective as a Maso girl I just want to be used and abused. Not speaking at all for other masochists, just me. None of my lovers bothered to think of feelings, it was all about the experience.
If one looks for feelings, it's best to ask about that topic before hitting the sheets. Hey Miki Looking for more clarification......... When you speak of lovers are you talking hookups? FWB? I think those two are completely different than a long term D/s relationship. To have the first two feelings do not have to enter the picture at all for it to be fun and pleasurable. IMHO to have a long term D/s relationship feelings better be at the forefront, if not there might be a lot of pain in it for someone. The lack of feelings goes hand in hand with a lack of caring. I think for most people feelings are what this lifestyle is about. As with all things human, "Your Results May Vary" I have had good luck being open and honest with my partners RE expectations. |
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Redmage(dom male)
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4 years ago •
Sep 16, 2020
Romance within BDSM
Having read all of the responses here I cannot help but feel that certain aspects have been neglected by the discussion. In my view the emotional/romantic aspects of a relationship is the driving factor. BDSM is not the definition of a relationship it is a framework or system within which relationships may be built. One of the proverbs of BDSM which springs to mind is, Trust, Love and Devotion. This is known as the three pillars. All of these are directly associated with emotional aspects. BDSM in my view isn't about the kinks and physical interactions, it simply considers them to be within the context of a relationship. Some of the most powerful and moving emotions which are experienced within the framework that is BDSM are often not associated with the physical aspects of the interactions. A girl being accepted for a permanent collar is one example. In this case emotional experiences can be very intense, are these experiences intense because of the collar being physically place on her neck? No the intensity is bourn from the symbology of acceptance into the life of her Dom as a permanent figure. The physical should only be a reflection of the emotional/romantic aspects.
I may have missed something but this is my personal opinion and experience. As such it has little actual value. Do not consider the things I say as the objective truth. Blessed be and love always. J.M.Rott(Dom) |
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