Advice on blow jobs.

Advice on blow jobs.

CraftyLove​(sub female) • Sep 23, 2020

Okay so I know with the internet there is obviously loads and loads literally of information on blow jobs.
Id like to be better at not gagging, not panicking....it's like after the first gag it just doesn't stop I break out in a sweat and my body tenses up and gagging after that comes alot easier and the pain I get in my neck is horrible.

Honestly I know there's different things for each person but I'd prefer to not puke. I want to be used in this way...I just really need to be more comfortable with it. So how do I do that.

Thank you for all the advice in advance.

GentleDomforyou • Sep 23, 2020

From a Dom perspective I enjoy the gagging. I know it's unpleasant and you would rather not gag, but that you would push past it for him knowing that you don't like it should make him feel dominant and you submissive.

magicHands​(dom male) • Sep 23, 2020

There are a lot of sites that provide methods of how to train your self to suppress your gag reflex, and desensitize your self to it.

A couple of things though:

1. Most women will gag at some point of oral penetration. I have only known a few that seemed to have completely suppressed it, and I think it was more related to shape/size of the inside of their mouth than super human skill.

2. It is good to challenge your self to improve at things, but you should not have shame about a limitation that pretty much everyone has.

3. Your owner/master may actually and intentionally be pushing you to the point of gagging and being overwhelmed. It might be the gagging and tension that they are enjoying. For some subs it is something that enhances their feeling of powerlessness.

4. Your owner/master should not be forcing you into things that are truly traumatic. If someone has complete power and control over you then they are completely responsible for you as well. If they are using that power over you just for their enjoyment and not taking your well being into consideration then they are either careless/wreck-less or not a dom at all and just a bully. Either way they are not earning your submission.

5. Depending on the boundaries of your relationship/ownership you could ask them (or better yet beg) if blow jobs could be less rough or extreme, or something that is saved as a punishment when you have been defiant. If they say no, and it is traumatizing you then see #4.

NatashaSemenova​(sub male) • Sep 23, 2020

The difference between an average blowjob and a great blowjob in my personal experience, is actually sucking the dick. Former partners were great at deepthroating and wrapping their lips around it, but a little suction goes a long way to a better blowjob experience. If you really want to stop gagging, try brushing the back of your tongue when you brush your teeth, it desensitizes the area to touch.

Re: Advice on blow jobs.

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Sep 23, 2020

i'm a long time cock sucker and to this day my feelings about it can be ambivalent. It can be hard work with loads of reward (sorry lol).

i think your own self reflection has a lot of the answers you are looking for, that a lot of the challenge you encounter is related to your mental and emotional response. Some guys are clueless as to the effect they are having when they try to emulate some porn they have seen, forcing their cock down a persons throat. Other guys have a lot of understanding, and that can help a great deal.

i crossed several barriers when a Dom guy who really understood subs, and me particularly, gently, but unrelentingly coached me on how to suck His formidable cock (it was both long and had a lot of girth). He never once force or pushed Himself on me, but He pushed me hard to perform what He wanted/needed from me. He was nothing but encouraging, then when i would get Him all the way in, He would praise me and tell me how proud He was of me. The overall effect was i was so thrilled at His pleasure (hello, "sub"), and proud that He was proud, that i tried harder and harder, fully committed. i was tearing, gagging, my nose was running... and He wanted me to look Him in the eyes most of the time.. i was a mess, but i adored Him. i couldn't help it, that was the effect He had on me, and the all the gagging, etc., became a non issue. He also completely relaxed me and half the time i did not gag and learned to breath through my nose so i wouldn't panic.

in my experience, the gag reflex is largely connected to my mental/emotional state... but you know that about yourself. Sure, there's a bunch of practical info to be had, practice is a big part of development. But for me, loving the guy i am sucking, when a sort of adoration kicks in, i find myself much more capable, wanting Him vs just doing or taking Him.

slavebilly​(sub male) • Sep 23, 2020

I agree with Sir MagicHands. One thing I balk at in a D/s relationship is pushing past the limits. If I'm gagging and in pain to the extent I feel harmed it is not right and I'm going to say something or at least say the safe word. There has to be a mutual respect on both sides. You are a person, not a rag doll!

somethingclever​(sub female)​{Searching} • Sep 23, 2020

I have a sensitive gag reflex, so I just don’t deep throat ?‍♀️ Not a fan of puking, and I tell men who disregard that that I will bite their dick off. That works.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t work with women because dildos are like chew toys ?‍♀️?

Redfoxmask​(dom male) • Sep 26, 2020

hello all, not sure if this will help but here you go.

I wanted to answer this from not only a Dom but manly perspective.
if you really want to take your man fully like this and you want him to be satisfied in this manner this is what I recommend.
first talk to your Dom and then tell him what you feel and get him to work with you on this.
next, if you have a table or bed or something you can lay flat on your back on and be high enough for him to slide in your mouth do it.
then slowly and I mean fucking slow, lay your head back off the table or bed or whatever it is open your mouth and let him slide in but it has to be slow. the innate direction of his member being up and with you on your back will be easier for you to perform this because your throat is in more of a natural upward position then down causing gag reflex to happen more.
once you do that have him slide in and then out, slowly work going deeper a little at a time.
this may be something you need to work at and it can take time but I hope this helps in whatever capacity. if you have to use a safeword because of pain do it I rather you be safe than injured and not be able to swallow eat or drink. if you have an understanding and caring Dom he will do this for you.

practice it this way and see if it helps hope I have been of some help to you and hope you will be able to do what you desire and good luck.

CraftyLove​(sub female) • Sep 26, 2020

Thank you all for your responses all of them were helpful! Thank you again!

joeblowzzz​{Joe555souL} • Sep 27, 2020

Obviously, the same "Rule of Thumb" applies with the sucking of a TS Dom's cock! Consequently, it "wood" be a Dream CUM True to find such a TS Dom with>>> a HUGE BEAUTIFUL COCK to practice my Deep Throat techniques on!!! Although, considering that i'm actually STILL a "virgin"... i'll settle for any TS, with ANY size cock, just as long as She's passable & pretty!!! It's probably best to start small anyway!