Parenting and Privacy in BDSM

Parenting and Privacy in BDSM

alphawolfishere​(dom male) • Oct 25, 2020

A few days ago I was asked how a Dom/sub relationship would like in a home with children. I got to wondering how any BDSM relationship might look like with children.

I have two sons whom are both grown and on their own. I’m 42 now. I became a parent at very early. And I’m open to having more children.

I’d love to hear from some of the parents or individuals who are involved with BDSM members who have children. When it comes to the BDSM lifestyle and parenting, do you just keep certain doors and items locked away in the house?

And what about children who spend time with parents who are no longer together and live in different households. Has anyone had a child tell another parent about your toys?

I’d love to hear your thoughts about how you manage parental discretion in the BDSM community?

Thanks!

shortylotus​(dom female) • Oct 25, 2020

Unfortunately I believe that no matter how hard you try its like a weird force of nature that your child will find a toy at some point
Example: I went outside to find my neighbor giving me a very dirty look. I didn't know why until I looked out into the yard. Here my 4 year old daughter playing fetch with the dog using a dildo. 🙄 and from the bite marks on it, which were not from me of course it had been going on for sometime. That neighbor never talked to me again.
So I found a better way to hide toys in my closet. But still the other day my daughter asked me why I never told her I was a cop. I had to explain to her the spreader bar was for Halloween 😬

My freaking life....

TDKinky​(sub female){Owned} • Oct 25, 2020

We have 3 kids, between ages 11-16, and they get nosier by the hour!!! We have a few tricks to get our needed kink on.
😇😈
First, and our favorite is waiting until after they're sleeping and sneak up to a camper we have setup in the back of our place. We store our favorite toys in there, and it's decked out with a full kitchen, bathroom, bed, tv, etc. This way we can play without worrying they will hear us.
Second, we see just how much pleasure or pain (or both) that He can provide without me making noises. It is crazy hot and insanely frustrating!
Third, we are super discreet. We avoid any scenario that hits too close to home. Meaning, if anyone that has ties to where we live, take our kids to school or work, we walk away.
We are constantly talking about what's working and what isn't, which inevitably results in a shift to how we approach things, but that makes this all so much fun. I mean, not one of my friends has a marriage where they are more in love with, attracted to and connected with their husbands the way I am with Him. Our children see a happy, loving, respectful relationship between their parents. They know very few friends that have both parents together and recently our 13 yr old daughter and 16 yr old son have both had situations where they realized how nice it is to not grow up listening to parents bicker and fight. Ok, I'm finally done, hope you enjoy!
-d {fem/sub half of Td} 💗

nuli​(sub female){Unkolared} • Oct 25, 2020

Omg I am DYING! but it brings to mind a friend (nilla) whose son found her toy and was using it as a microphone and singing into it!

As for how with children. All mine knew was I had to talk to him before we went. And they learned quick to snitch me out if I wasn't doing something they wanted lol. They didn't know the after stuff but they saw respect and one Man in charge of the house

Peachez​(sub female) • Nov 23, 2020

Well, honestly like everything.. Anything is possible to do as long as you put your mind to it. I feel that kid's don't need to know that part of your life. If they ask questions when they are older, different story. If they really want to talk about it, I'd be up for that, but I wouldn't go into all the details lol How is it possible to keep them from finding out what goes on in the bedroom. Well maybe have your own redroom of pain (sorry bad quote from 50 shades lol) I mean if you're able to set a room a side at your place that is specifically for BDSM thing's then that seems like the logical answer. Otherwise maybe just have set days where thing's can happen and the kid's are somewhere else. It's not as difficult as it may seem.

Dominus eius​(dom male){LittleLott} • Jan 14, 2021

I would echo much of what Peachez has said.

We are pretty new to embracing and exploring this side of our lives. We have a 10 year old daughter at home. With the current restrictions (COVID in case this is read in the future when we have forgotten - ) things can be pretty challenging.

However, the little routines we have have been deliberately chosen as to not be obvious in front of others. Just little things like positioning when giving me a kiss....

Playtime is different. We have a lock on the bedroom door - however, I have winced multiple times as I have bought the crop cracking down. It sounds so loud to me that I’m convinced we’ll awake our daughter. However, seeing the reddening arse and hearing the reaction encourages me to continue....

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 15, 2021

Lock a door and hide it from the youngsters best you can, but sooner or later they'll find something and ask that certain question of "what's this" to which you just lie to them like parents do when talking of such like Santa clause

littlelunar​(sub female) • Feb 5, 2021

I have 4 kids under 7 and I’ve learned no matter how well you think you hide something they will always find it😅. In the past year the kids have destroyed 4 boxes of condoms turning them into balloons and filling them up with water, they broke my only anal vibrator😩, and destroyed my purple vibrator. This topic has me thinking their dads future toys are pretty lucky since he’s moving out of the apartment 😂 I’ll just wait till I get a house and find a new stash with a lock and key 🤷🏽‍♀️