Training a sub free or paid?

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Nov 13, 2020

Knowing nothing about this particular dominant and their videos, I will say that as a member of Seattle's Center for Sex Positive Culture, workshops, lectures, and classes cost in either money or time - historically some people can get in for free or at a reduced cost if they're volunteers and have a timesheet marked to show that they worked enough shifts to earn credit towards classes.

There are for-pay websites that have training videos (Kink Academy comes screaming to mind). Also, I imagine that unless someone already has the video, lighting, sound, editing equipment and the space available, making videos probably cost a bit - especially if one wants quality. If one wants to keep on making videos and wants to stay ahead of the blunt edge of technology, charging for pre-made ones makes sense ... as a business endeavor.

However, for a potential partner? Nah. Being a kink professional is one thing, but combining that with a "lifestyle" relationship seems a bit hinky. I mean, I saw a few videos that Master Fire made about her kink philosophy and I think that's cool, but she wasn't charging for those. I imagine that someone who was okay with possibly having those videos passed around may find that making videos of themselves just talking about what they expect could be quite hot for the purposes of relationship building, but the idea of putting a price tag on it seems like a red flag.

I've been chatted up by a very bad scammer (I swear, it was like a sitcom episode) and your instincts are good. If you're ever tempted to ask a group of strangers if someone you barely know is acting shady, that person is almost certainly shady.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 13, 2020

If their instincts were that good they wouldn't have any doubts in the first place.

You're more likely to learn from online roleplay when making your own actions together in a safe environment with someone you know PERSONALLY (even if happening to meet a stranger online and getting to know them. Just like life) then paying for it. It's extremely unlikely you can "pay" for genuine interactions. You can't just "teach" that. It has to be "discovered". There has to be "incentive" beyond just learning. If that incentive is lacking... It's just not worth paying for. Wanting to be a better person just isn't enough. Someone has to GIVE you that reason. For each event. Each situation.

What are these people even teaching anyway? "Hump hump, lick your boots"? I've learned more from well written online roleplay. And that's free. I've learned more from simply always doing as I'm told. I'm my OWN teacher there.

Btw, if you want an example of "roleplay interacitons" let me know. More then happy to share. Some of the interactions are "just in roleplay" of course, but you can definitely apply much of the context to physical activities as well.

urinal • Dec 14, 2020

Hi all
I have been in a similar situation more than once, always with the same MO. Once contact is established another communication method is requested and few messages into the conversation a price is given. So,yeah,you can expect a lot of scammers because the world is full of people who like easy money.

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 14, 2020

Just another reminder to please report these users as this behaviour violates our rules.

bearfortwinkz​(dom male) • Dec 14, 2020

I’m going to echo what others have said: this screams scam. Now there are legitimate instances where Dom(me)s charge a fee to train a sub/slave. But in my experience you tend to meet these people through somebody. There’s some connection outside of just you and them. In other words, they can be validated.

MountaintopMaster • Dec 14, 2020

Yeah, if you came here looking for a RELATIONSHIP, you shouldn't have to pay for it. Paid training is certainly a thing, of course, and if that's what you want, then you can look for it in-person when the pandemic is "over" and more in-person options become available. But, it sounds like you are simply looking for training through an actual relationship, which you should definitely hold out for because there are plenty out there, looking for YOU!

Also, as it has been mentioned already, anyone who is a member here and asks for money should be reported.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 12, 2021

I've never charged training for my personal subs and theres a certain amount of basic knowledge that should be known, but beyond basics time is money

MstressWhipplash​(dom female) • Mar 20, 2021

The term training is porn for kinky play time.

In reality 2 people get to know each other feel there is a spark and began enjoying each others company.

At some point they both agree they wish to be in a relationship together where she is in authority and he gives up authority to her.

Then they discuss what a typical day doing that may look like.

I call that an Active Control Framework Relationship.

I see training as learning to be a doctor, Teacher as it has a start middle and end.

However getting to know each other in a daily way and enjoying kinky playtime is a continuous action the duration of the relationship.

Stop believing porn terms.

A woman doesn't train you how to make a coffee or clean her home, you both get to know each other so you can learn how SHE likes those things done. It is called getting to know each other.

Mistress Whipplash Ma'am

BikerDan​(other male) • Mar 20, 2021

if she was a Professional Domme, she would have explained that to you.
Definitely smalls like a scam.
I've done a bit of (gay) sub/slave training in my time and never wanted payment.
Having a slave devote its time to me, even inexperienced, is payment enough