Stress, Desire, & D/s

Stress, Desire, & D/s

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 25, 2016

Here's something I've been thinking about lately - D/s, stress, and desire.  If life is hectic and stressy does it suppress your craving for kinky play and/or full on sex?  Or do you crave it more than ever as some sort of stress relief?  I have some thoughts on this that I'll share a bit later...

DrWakko • Nov 25, 2016

I think a good play session helps with stress for me. Its not because I'm using my flogger to "beat" the anger out, but its more of a zen thing. I get put in the scene and it becomes almost like a zen moment where I can reset myself. I become one with the scene and the rest of life goes out the window. After the scene is over and cuddles and after care happen I find myself refreshed and unstressed.

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 26, 2016

Thanks for your response DrWacko - I like the zen comparison.

explorer​(switch male) • Nov 26, 2016

Whilst I find that the more stressed I am, the more I want kink, unfortunately for me my wife is the opposite and she is less likely to want it. However, I try to serve her as much as I can and if she wants to just sit and watch TV, I am happy to do as much as I can to allow her to just chill.
My theory is that if I can get my wife relaxed, there is a better chance that she may be more interested later in the evening. I'm fortunate that I don't get as stressed as she does as I'm pretty laid back generally. 
Picking up brownie points through the week / month is always my aim, as when she is horny it is always explosive and exciting and she does remember the good things I have done for her.

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 28, 2016

When I'm stressed I find my energy level can go to one extreme or the other - I'm hyper energetic or completely exhausted.  When I am the later if I can make myself do something physical it always helps, and this includes play.  So often I will initiate something even if I don't feel like it to begin with, knowing that I need the shift in focus and energy charge.  And it usually works!

DrWakko • Nov 28, 2016

When play isn't possible to reset myself, having a service submissive really helps with the stress. When I get home from work my girl will take off my boots and give me a foot massage, get me a drink and finish then prepare dinner. The stress goes away when i don't have to worry about dinner and the house and having a massage does take off the stress.

Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 30, 2016

@DrWacko - well hell -that would relax anyone

Zeus2512​(dom male) • Dec 10, 2016

Stress diminishes my play needs. And the same if I have to travel a long way for play. Last year spent 6 hours travelling. I was mentally shattered when i got there and didn't enjoy it.