Virgin

Virgin

mmadelineeee • Apr 26, 2018

Is it ridiculous of me to say that I would enjoy/do enjoy the idea of being a submissive even though I am a virgin? I have had boyfriends in the past and we’ve done the standard oral and etc, and I found myself liking being forced into things and being told what to do. The entire submissive lifestyle appeals to me, but is this valid given I’ve never actually had sex? Is this a rule of some sort?

euryale​(sub female) • Apr 26, 2018

I think it's totally reasonable to consider yourself a submissive without having any bdsm experience. I did for years before I lost my virginity, I really enjoyed watching/reading bdsm porn and roleplaying bdsm scenarios online, and my enjoyment was absolutely mirrored when I finally got to experience it for myself.

The one thing I can say though is be prepared for surprises, possibly fun ones. I had no idea I was such a masochist until I got my first spanking, I had absolutely no clue I was a huge anal slut until I tried anal play for the first time. Build up ideas of the kind of submissive you might want to be now, and when you have the opportunity to practice them with a partner you'll be well prepared to find out what you enjoy most.

Liliac​(sub female) • Apr 26, 2018

Not at all. I am a virgin myself and I find myself drawn to all sorts of "kinky" thing as people has labeled it so you are totally not alone in thinking that. Everybody is kinky inside and I am almost relieved I didn't deny myself to explore before I give myself to another person. And I have big hopes for the time when I finally give myself up because it would be more meaningful for me and my partner. So don't be doubtful. If you are really into this, just explore it within safe limits of course.

Performer​(dom male) • Apr 26, 2018

There's absolutely nothing wrong with knowing that you're a submissive regardless of sexual experience. Power exchange can play out in many ways. Sex is one outlet, but that isn't the point of the D/s relationship. From the Dominant side of the equation I have to say that I appreciate most when My sub is able to communicate their needs, wants, and desires. Communication and working together in power exchange in it's best form.

DrWakko • Apr 27, 2018

Being a submissive has nothing to do with sexual experience. Submissive could be described as a job title. Company A and Company B might share a lot in the job description but are different. If you are looking to play in a Top and bottom then you need to discuss what happens.

The same needs to be said in a Dom / sub relationship. Talk about everything. Keep nothing off the table. Do google search’s for Bdsm relationship contracts.

Protect yourself and enjoy!

Good Supportive Advice Here So Far

CapnRick​(dom male) • Apr 27, 2018

I agree with all the posters that your virginity should be no barrier to enjoying nearly all aspect of your submissiveness.

Of course, before restraints of any kind are used on you, it will be imperative that you trust your Dom implicitly, AND that you have his agreement to honor your vaginal Hard Limits (Whatever you may decide). Some Dom might think about taking advantage.....

That is all I have to add...SSC, and go for it!

kinkerbell123​(sub female){FckCollars} • Apr 28, 2018

I might piss some people off by saying this but I'm going to say it anyhow. If you meet a Dom and your virginity IS an issue, run do not walk way. It shouldn't be the first thing anyone asks you when it comes to your relationship, and that includes anyone in a BDSM capacity looking at a relationship with you. This is most likely not something you would put up with in a vanilla setting and those rules don't change because you've realized you might like other things included in your sexual relationship at some point. This isn't what they should as as a leading question and it's not really what you need to offer as a leading piece of information about yourself. If your relationship reaches a point where sex makes sense, and is something you both want to include, that would be the time to discuss your previous partners. (or lack thereof)

LordofPain56 • Apr 29, 2018

In my view, Domination/submission is a way of life much more in the day-to-day arrangement of how the Dom and sub relate and interact with each other outside the bedroom. The sex is secondary although D/s may also be present there. And among D/s couple, sometimes it is kinky sex as well.
You should be more concerned with the different types of D/s and different types of Doms and submissives rather than whether or not being a virgin will affect you.
You can read about these on the internet:
Dominant/submissive relationships
Taken-in-Hand relationships
Christian Domestic Discipline
Head-of-Household relationships

Bunnie • Apr 30, 2018

Sorry, for some reason I seem to have posted twice.

Bunnie • Apr 30, 2018

If anything, I admire your ability to recognise and follow through with it so early. Lucky you! No time wasted in relationships that don’t fit you. If only I could’ve done the same lol. Good for you, and good luck with it